I am continuing to pay reparations to Serge Ibaka in penance for totally ignoring him the first fifth of the season. Under terms outlined by the United Nations, Following is a list of steps I have taken to make the situation right and ensure that Ibaka’s human rights are no longer violated so flagrantly: -I…
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Gary Neal 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Since I usually only say negative things about Gary Neal because I grew to hate him during his time with the Bucks (on a deeply personal level, not on just a player-fan relationship level), in this description I will only say good things about Gary Neal. I have even compiled a list of his positive…
Read MoreMatthew Dellavedova 15 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/23/2015)
Matthew “Wacky Delly” Dellavedova turned a lot of heads in last year’s finals. Suddenly, people other than Australians knew who he was! How did Matthew benefit from this newfound recognition? -He doesn’t even need to put on his fake Australian accent to get girls to sleep with him -People refer to him as “Curry Killer”,…
Read MoreJordan Clarkson 19 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2015)
Is Jordan Clarkson legit the best player on the Lakers? That team is so bereft of quality players that he might be. -Kobe Bryant: old, decrepit, broken-down, and done. Shooting 33% from the field. 20% from three on seven attempts per game. In terms of win production, it’s not close between him and Clarkson -Roy…
Read MoreTerrence Jones 23 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)
There must be something wrong with the Rockets. Currently at 4-5, they’re not meeting preseason expectations, or any expectations really. Terrence Jones is a certified baller so there must be other factors at play. -Harden has regressed. Two words: beard rot -Howard shows up to games about half the time. The other half he goes…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
Since the storyline wherein Michael Jordan resided in Andrew Wiggins’ psyche and tormented his dreams until Wiggins forcibly ejected him, thus killing both dream-MJ and real-life MJ, has ended, DTB needs a new idea. Since it is quite early in the morning, my creative juices are currently stationary and it will be at least a…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 22 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2015)
Everyone is always ragging on the Brooklyn Nets, and it’s pissing me off. “Ha ha they don’t have any picks until 2020!” “Joe Johnson is the second highest-paid player in the league and he sucks let me revel in the misfortune of others!” “I am a heartless hell-demon!” “When will they win their first game,…
Read MoreEric Gordon 21 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Why can’t the Pelicans win a game? They’re 0-6 right now even with Anthony Davis beasting. Here’s a list I came up with which is entitled “DTB’s List of Reasons Why the Pelicans Can’t Win a Game”: -Tyreke Evans is trapped under a mountain of beads on Bourbon Street -Anthony Davis shoots too many threes…
Read MoreElfrid Payton 20 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
There are a lot of great storylines going on right now with the Magic: -How Skiles reacts to being burdened with Tobias Harris again -Can Dewayne hit more than 20 shots over the whole season? -Mario Hezonja -How bald does Jason Smith look by the end of the season? -Do they resign Ben Gordon? -Putting…
Read MoreK.J. McDaniels All 42 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
To start off this description, I’m going to outlay a series of facts that cannot be disputed or disagreed with: -K.J. McDaniels is a good dunker -K.J. McDaniels dunked quite often while on the 76ers -Pizza is the second most versatile food in the world, after sandwiches and ahead of salads -After being traded to…
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