In honor of a new career high composed almost entirely of pure midrange jumpers, I have compiled an exhaustive list of the food that Joel Freeland probably (definitely) eats on a daily basis: -Cheesy Wotsits -Spotted Dick -Crumpets -Pork faggots in gravy -Beef Wellington -Haggis -Trifle -Munchie Boxes Question for discussion: why are British people…
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Otto Porter 15 Points Full Highlights (3/29/2015)
Have you ever wondered which Washington Wizards players correspond to which Rocket Power characters? No? Well, I’ve planted the idea in your head now so you will definitely find the following list illuminating. Otto Porter = Otto Rocket Drew Gooden = Twister Kevin Seraphin = Reggie Rocket Marcin Gortat = Squid Randy Wittman = Raymundo…
Read MorePhil Pressey 10 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (3/13/2015)
If the Celtics don’t dress Phil Pressey up like a leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to stop making highlights of Celtics players. The confluence of variables is just to perfect to pass up: 1. Phil Pressey is short like a leprechaun 2. Phil Pressey, who is short, plays for the Celtics 3. The…
Read MoreIsh Smith 14 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/6/2015)
There’s something about the 76ers where any point guard who goes there can put up numbers. Michael Carter-Williams is the most obvious beneficiary; he won rookie of the year entirely because of the sick numbers he was able to amass while his team bottomed out. Let’s look at some other Sixer PG’s: Ish Smith: You’d…
Read MoreJeremy Lin 23 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (3/3/2015)
The Jeremy Lin – Chandler Parsons bromance is over. OVER. Daryl Morey killed it, ruthlessly, because he himself has a heart of stone that feels nothing but coldness. Their beautiful relationship could handle many things, but 1000 miles is not one of them. In the saddening absence of Parsons, we must find a new bromance…
Read MoreAndrea Bargnani 17 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2015)
Andrea Bargnani’s failings as a Knick have been well documented, but for those who may not be aware of them, I will list some of them here: – Knicks gave up a laughable amount of stuff for him in a trade, so even though he already was kind of done fans had unrealistic expectations of…
Read MoreJosh Smith 18 Points/4 Threes? Full Highlights (1/28/2015)
I’m tired of everyone dumping on Josh Smith all the time. All people can talk about is “bad shot selection” this and “significant negative on the court” that. He has feelings too, you know. So, if you’re reading this Josh, please enjoy this expertly compiled list of your better qualities. – When his jumper goes…
Read MoreWayne Ellington Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2015)
It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Mr. Ellington make it Wayne like this. I thought that this would be the year he would finally get consistent minutes, now that he’s on a horrible team that also happens to be totally bereft of shooting. I guess not? I’ve got a couple of theories as…
Read MoreHarrison Barnes 18 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
Harrison “Born in a” Barnes has responded well to being a starter this year. Last year, starting only a third of the games, he shot below 40%. This year, starting every game? 50% from the field. That’s a huge leap. In what other areas has Harrison improved this season? -No longer yells “oh snap” any…
Read MoreCory Joseph 19 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (1/3/2015)
It looks like the Spurs have found their backup point guard in Cory Joseph. However, his contract is up after this year, and they’ll have to pay him like one. Will they even bother? Patty Mills just landed a sweet new contract to be the backup. If they want to move Patty to SG ala…
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