This description will have to wait until I am finished reading the Wikipedia article about Eurobeat. Okay? Can you wait a few minutes, or is your time too god damn precious? I thought so. ——— Wow! I have been enlightened to the intricacies of Eurobeat music, also known as Italo Disco. Who knew that Italian…
Read MoreTag: Utah Jazz
Joe Ingles 19 Points Full Highlights (10/21/2017)
Joe “The Trevally from Happy Valley” Ingles pretty much put on a show tonight. Stepback threes, a shoulder check from Steven Adams, regular threes, a bunch of trash talk directed at rookie Terrance Ferguson for some reason (not a good look to trash talk a rookie, my man), and an ankle breaker. Aren’t you hyped?…
Read MoreRicky Rubio 19 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (10/20/2017)
The reception Ricky Rubio got from the fans in his return to Minnesota was about what I expected. Polite, appreciative, but not roaring or anything. It wasn’t like the KG return, that’s for sure, and that’s how it should be. For those that weren’t paying attention, I have compiled a list of accomplishments the Timberwolves…
Read MoreRudy Gobert All 235 Dunks Full Highlights (2016-17 Season Dunkilation)
“Monsieur Gobert! Monsieur Gobert! Your esteemed guest has arrived!” Rudy Gobert rolled his eyes at his bumbling, bespectacled butler. “If you weren’t such an intolerable fool, Remi, you would be able to take his coat and invite him in to the parlor without running to me for guidance.” “Yes, sir! Of course, sir! I will…
Read MoreDante Exum 15 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2017)
Since Jazz fans are probably feeling a little bit delicate right now, I’m not even going to call Dante Exum a bust in this description. I will even say that he had a great first half, and made some big plays that got the crowd back into the game. He had a few plays that…
Read MoreShelvin Mack 18 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2017)
From getting DNP’s earlier in the season to starting a playoff game where the aim was to avoid being swept, Shelvin “The Macksturbator” Mack has come a long way, but in the end, the sweep happened while he was at the helm. The Macksturbator played about as well as could be expected in this game;…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 21 Points Full Highlights (5/6/2017)
Does anybody else get annoyed by the “PLAYOFF INTENSITY” fetishism that is displayed both on TV broadcasts and on the internet in general? Maybe I don’t like it when people display emotions since I myself am an emotionless semi-human, but the whole thing feels like its trying to ascribe more meaning to what is, like…
Read MoreGeorge Hill 22 Points Full Highlights (4/28/2017)
OFFICIAL REASONS TO MAKE THIS VIDEO: -George Hill had a good game -If we’re being honest here, nobody else is gonna make it because nobody watches George Hill videos ever -Making NBA highlight videos is a sick obsession of mine -Floater/runner game on point -Not too many layups -George Hill only had three assists so…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 8 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (4/23/2017)
“Joe…Joe…” Gordon Hayward croaked. “What’s up man?” Joe Ingles replied, raising his eyebrows at Gordon, who was lying on the floor of the locker room wrapped in towels like a mummy. “I’m not gonna make it,” Gordon said weakly, his eyes closed and his face pale. “It’s over for me. I’m done.” Joe chuckled. “Man,…
Read MoreJoe Johnson 28 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/23/2017)
By my estimation, exactly two out of twelve field goals made by Joe Johnson last night were set up by a teammate of his. The other ten were strictly the result of Johnson’s isoing tendencies, tendencies which have fairly earned him the nickname “Iso Joe”. With Gordon Haywards’ minutes being extremely limited due to food…
Read More