Utah Jazz – Page 8

Kyle Korver 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/28/2019)

It kinda pains me to bring it up, but is Kyle Korver just getting uglier as time goes on? Normally it’s the other way around, where weird-looking dudes come into the NBA as a rookies looking all weird and then a few years later they’re all handsome and muscly and have appropriate haircuts (thinking Kevin…

Joe Ingles 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/23/2019)

Since people (read: Australians who have a constitutional mandate in their countries’ founding legal framework that says they have to watch one or more Joe Ingles highlight videos per day) aren’t watching as many Joe Ingles highlights as they should, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I booked a flight to Sydney,…

Jae Crowder 22 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)

Man, for a second there it looked like Jae Crowder and… Dorian Finney-Smith??? (let me check I may be misremembering nope it was DFS) were going to throw down right there on the court. But then it was a whole lot of nothing. Come on. We know how hard-edged Crowder is, how he always looks…

Ricky Rubio 25 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)

Here’s the deal: if I was coaching kids’ basketball, and one of the kids had as flat an arc on his jumpshot as Ricky Rubio does, I would, to the detriment of all the other kids, put all of my coaching effort into getting that kid to shoot the ball correctly. Nobody deserves to live…

Derrick Favors 24 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/22/2019)

OFFICIAL REASONS WHY NO ONE CARES ABOUT DERRICK FAVORS POWER RANKINGS 1. Utah 2. Lame dunks 3. Not enough threes 4. Latent racism (could be combined with “Utah”) 5. Last traded a million years ago 6. Slam dunks that are unexciting OFFICIAL REASONS WHY NO ONE CARES ABOUT DOWNTOBUCK’S “FLAVORS OF FAVORS” COOKBOOK POWER RANKINGS…

Royce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (2/9/2019)

Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale, after this four-for-four performance, is now shooting 43 percent from three this season. Let’s ignore the fact that he got totally snubbed for three-point shootout (NBA always dicking small-market teams, SMH) and instead try to be positive. Positivity incoming: -43 percent is really good -He acts as a nice complementary guard to…

Joe Ingles 15 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (2/6/2019)

OFFICIAL DTB REMINDER to Australian viewers of my videos: there is a constitutional mandate in your home country of Australia which requires you to watch at least one (1) Joe Ingles highlight video for day. Even on days when Joe Ingles has not played a game. You have to go on YouTube (or another video-sharing…

Joe Ingles 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)

Here’s a thought experiment for you: is it possibly to like Joe Ingles as a player, but not have that fondness tainted by ironic undertones? I would posit that it is not possible to unironically like Joe Ingles. Due to his physical profile, any positive feelings felt towards him will be biased by his flabby…

Ricky Rubio 22 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)

I feel like there’s gotta be some way to figure out what the most fruitful assist-to-shooter connections in the league are. However, after spending ten minutes using all the tools at my disposal (basketball-reference and stats.nba.com), I couldn’t figure out a way to do it. All I wanna know is how the Ricky Rubio-Rudy Gobert…

Royce O’Neale 16 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

It’s no coincidence that the Jazz have won all their games since Royce “Shaqueale” O’Neale was inserted into the starting lineup. Actually, I’m pretty sure it is a coincidence, because there’s no way that O’Neale, with his sporadic scoring and general wallflower-ness, is impacting the game in such a large fashion that he is causing…