Last season there were two Chris Johnsons in the league: this one, who played in Memphis, and a taller one who played in Minnesota. It was like the scene from a terrible nightmare. Every night I checked the box-scores with dread, wondering how many Chris Johnsons had been added to rosters since the last time…
Read MoreMonth: January 2014
Jeremy Tyler Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2014)
Can you believe the Knicks gave a roster spot to Chris Smith instead of this guy? I know Jeremy was injured, blah blah blah, nepotism, whatever. But come on. Jeremy Tyler, in this single NBA game, has shown more than Chris Smith has or ever will show in the D-League. JR Smith’s negative presence on…
Read MoreAnthony Bennett Career High 15 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2014)
Hooray! After a mere 33 games, Anthony Bennett has scored in double figures! Hold on. Wait a minute. You’re telling me that this guy was the first overall pick? I thought he was just a random undrafted scrub! Damn, this guy sucks. Or, if he doesn’t suck, he’s just residing in Ohio’s biggest slump, currently…
Read MoreMiroslav Raduljica 11 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
Zaza Pachulia stared disbelievingly at the stopwatch in his hand. “Damn, Miro has 15 minutes to go and he’s already on the snowman portion of the contest.” Miroslav Raduljica trundled through the snow in front of the Bradley Center, clad in nothing but boxer shorts, assembling a three-tiered snowman as quickly as he could. The…
Read MoreRonny Turiaf 14 Points/4 Dunks/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
OFFICIAL SMELLIEST PLAYERS IN THE NBA ACCORDING TO AMAR’E POWER RANKINGS: 1: Ronny Turiaf 2: Boris Diaw I don’t really think that’s fair though. Every NBA player smells bad after a game. As an inside reporter who spends his fair share of time hidden in NBA locker rooms, I’d have to say that the stench…
Read MoreGerald Green 30 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
This highlight package is a prefect representation of the current abilities of Gerald Green; threes, dunks, and the occasional swaggy midrange fader. The only problem with this it is the distinct lack of windmill dunks, but he makes up for it with a sick block on MCW. But don’t read too much into it. The…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 20 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
Jonas Valanciunas sat in front of his glowing TV in the otherwise darkened studio apartment. Arrayed on the table in front of him were a myriad of snack items: cheez doodlez, nacho chips with assorted dips, and an untouched assortment of traditional Lithuanian baked goods courtesy of his mother. The only evidence that they had…
Read MoreDennis Schroeder 10 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
Another highlight maker’s quandary: how to spell foreign names? The NBA lists him as Schroder, which is totally wrong. Totally wrong. I refuse to use such a blatant misspelling. His jersey has the umlaut over the O, I think. That is correct. But this is America. We don’t use diacritical marks. Because of freedom. My…
Read MoreJodie Meeks 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/26/2014)
Jodie Meeks is a rare case: a college sharpshooter picked in the second round, who managed to, eventually, solidify himself as a good NBA shooter. It seems like the extra foot or so really takes its toll for most people, including Jodie early in his career. I remember Bucks fans being really disappointed with his…
Read MoreArron Afflalo 25 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2014)
Tobias Harris stuck his head out the window of the team bus. “Arron, what are you standing outside in the rain for? The bus is gonna leave without you.” Arron raised his head to stare at the grey clouds above, eyes closed to protect against the heavy rain shower. “Leave me, then. My soul is…
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