Ryan Kelly: clutchest mofo on the planet? No. Don’t be silly. Until he hits a game-winner he cannot be considered clutch, much less the “clutchest mofo on the planet”. Free throws are nice, but really, anybody should be able to hit those. But why are we talking about what he isn’t? We should be talking…
Read MoreMonth: January 2014
Brandon Knight 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
Apparently Brandon Knight hadn’t ever had to run a pick-and-roll until he got to the NBA? That would explain why he’s so damn bad at it. For a team whose sole offensive strategy is “set tons of screens”, it would be useful to have a point guard who could hit bigs rolling to the basket….
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 10 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
Giannis “Greece Fire” Antetokounmpo is rapidly ascending to MHP (most hyped player) status. I love his potential as much as the next guy, but I don’t want to be disappointed. There’s nothing worse than a player you love not panning out. So, for now, I’ll be cautious in my appraisal of him. Just kidding! Did…
Read MoreJohn Henson 20 Points/15 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
Congratulations John Henson! You win the “Best Player on the Worst Team” award! Every awful team needs to have a player who isn’t total garbage, and you are that player! You follow in the hallowed footsteps of such luminaries as Kevin Love, Brook Lopez, and Derrick Brown! Yes, times are sad for the Milwaukee Bucks….
Read MoreD.J. Augustin 19 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
D.J. Augustin might be a pretty good basketball player. Elite free throw shooter, good distributor, and can be counted on to hit threes when necessary. But he’s not the best DJ around. That would be me. My beats are off the charts. When I’m spinning my records and mixing on the fly, I have to…
Read MoreChris Bosh 25 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
One of the common online tropes for Chris Bosh is that he is secretly a dinosaur. Posting pictures of NBA players as kids? Here’s a picture of that raptor-hatching scene from Jurassic Park. Talking about the oldest players ever to play professionally? Bring up the fact that Chris Bosh is 65 million years old. These…
Read MoreNikola Pekovic 27 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
Screw the Timberwolves. Apparently they’ve sapped Ricky Rubio of his love for the game of basketball. Next thing you know Nikola Pekovic is gonna come in to practice and say “I don’t really feel like adding any more skulls to my skull pile today”. This cannot be allowed to happen. Luckily for us (or perhaps…
Read MoreNicolas Batum 21 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (1/18/2014)
How are the Trailblazers so good? All they did in the offseason was replace JJ Hickson with Robin Lopez. I get that Hickson wasn’t really a center and that having a true center in his place is better, but still. Maybe it’s because Damian Lillard graduated from being the next Brandon Jennings to being the…
Read MoreJosh McRoberts 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
Craziest stat of the year: Josh McRoberts is third in assist-to-turnover ratio, after Chris Paul and Jose Calderon. The next 18 players on the list are all point guards. He’s like LeBron without the turnovers. I don’t even know. He didn’t show above-average playmaking ability at any point in his career up until now. And…
Read MoreAl Jefferson 30 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
Al Jefferson is a top-five offensive center of the past decade. There. I said it. It’s out there in the open for you to accept or reject, but if you choose to reject it, you would be incorrect. Just looking at pure offensive skill, and ignoring the opposite side of the floor, there aren’t many…
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