The NBA just loves messing with my schedule. So I want to do Tobias Harris highlights. Of course. He’s the best. He’s the beast. I gotta do highlights. So I go to NBA.com to get to the play-by-play and what do I see? The Bucks playing at 11:00! I look at my clock. 11:03! So…
Read MoreDay: March 14, 2014
Robin Lopez 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
I have been introduced to a new nickname for Robin Lopez. I thought about withholding it from you guys, but then I figured, hey, I’m a generous guy, and I shouldn’t bogart the funny nicknames. Here it is: Fropez. Get it? Because his name is Lopez? And he has an afro? I’m also betting that…
Read MoreDraymond Green Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
My rap career is proceeding apace. I just wrote this gem for Draymond Green (original content do not steal): “Chillin’, just a rookie in the league Shooting twenty percent from trey If you like to look at men’s dongs It’s an indication that you’re gay Working hard to up his game PER no longer at…
Read MoreMatt Bonner 13 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
It baffles me how you’re allowed to say “Red Rocket” on TV. I know it’s Matt Bonner’s nickname, but it is also a reference to the male organ. Is the joke that Bonner has a really big one? Or a small one? Or an especially red one? Or just that it’s funny to have a…
Read MoreDarrell Arthur 18 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
What kind of uploader would I be if I uploaded Darrell Arthur highlights but failed to include partial lyrics to the theme song for the kid’s cartoon “Arthur”? A bad kind of uploader, that’s what I’d be. I’d probably lose subscribers. So here they are (dope reggae beat not included): “Everyday when you’re walking down…
Read MoreRay Allen 22 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
Prior to tonight’s game, Ray Allen was shooting almost exactly 40% from three on his career. Just a sliver over. If he had made 1/5 of a three less and it would be perfect. And with the volume of those shots that he’s taken over his career, that kind of efficiency is pretty amazing. Stephen…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
There’s something different about these Jonas Valanciunas highlights. Something he doesn’t normally do. Can you figure out? It’s not very obvious until it gets pointed out. But here it is: instead of pumpfaking a million times when he got the ball in the midrange and only after that taking the shot or driving, Jonas for…
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