Greivis “Vas Deferens” Vasquez is an enigma. More specifically, his country of origin is an enigma. I have narrowed it down to the following possibilities: -Mexico -Costa Rica -Cuba -Brazil -Ecuador -Spain -Taco Bell Wherever he’s from, it doesn’t change the fact that his faux-fauxhawk makes me want to slap him in the face. I…
Read MoreDay: April 14, 2014
Michael Beasley 18 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
Now that marijuana is legal in a few US states, everybody should apologize to Michael Beasley for ragging on him after he got caught smokin’ dat green. He just does it to relax, you know? Calm the nerves before the big game. How is it worse than Kirk Hinrich downing two twelve-packs and a fifth…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 20 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
“The natural beauty of Ireland is unparalleled. There is a reason they call this ‘the Emerald Isle’. The verdant greenth of Eire’s hills and valleys is poetic in its majesty.” Kyle O’Quinn panned the camera across the landscape, aiming to give his future viewers a window into his beautiful homeland. He continued speaking in an…
Read MoreMike Miller 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
Adam Silver has said that he’s willing to consider the idea of having just the top 16 teams make the playoffs, instead of the top 8 from each conference. This is a stupid idea, borne from Western Conference fans being upset that there is a team in the East who is making the playoffs with…
Read MoreJimmer Fredette 17 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
I can just imagine the excitement of Jimmer-nation when it was announced that he was released by the Kings and picked up by the Bulls. “Finally, Jimmer can play for a competent organization with a great coach who recognizes talent! Better burn all my Kings gear and pick up some Bulls swag!” They thought those…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
Kelly Olynyk is coming alive at exactly the right time. He needs to ensure that the Celtics’ tank is unharmed, while also providing a glimmer of hope for next year. If he can score a bunch in the last game, it can then be inferred that he will do similarly well next season. The Celtics’…
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