Like the similarly-failed Pistons, the Cavaliers were supposed to be good this year. Kyrie Irving + Dion Waiters + Tristan Thompson + 1st-overall-pick was supposed to take the Cavs to the promised land of a first-round sweep. Instead, we get a team plagued by injuries, problems with overeating, and teammates punching each other. And that’s…
Read MoreMonth: April 2014
Chris Copeland 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
I hope NBA teams realize that Chris Copeland is thirty years old and, as an old man, does not have much time left in the league. We’re talking five years at most. In sympathy with Copeland’s plight, you need to give him minutes while he can still take advantage of them. The Pacers had better…
Read MoreArchie Goodwin Career High 29 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
It was summertime in Phoenix. Archie Goodwin was, somewhat understandably, not participating in the usual activities of the season. For one thing, it was too hot, and for another, he was lost in thought. He sat facing his TV, but it wasn’t turned on, and hadn’t been since the end of the season. If he…
Read MoreTroy Daniels Career High 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
The end of the regular season teaches us a lot of things. Who might stick around next year, who was unfairly buried on the bench, the fact that Melvin Ely is still alive, which teams have mailed it in the most. The main takeaway, for me, is that Troy Daniels literally does not even give…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope Career High 30 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
Let us take a moment and reflect on the dismal failure that was the Pistons’ season. Remember: this was a team that wanted to make the playoffs. It’s not like they were tanking anything. They just constructed a roster to win games and failed at it. It’s kind of like the city of Detroit itself;…
Read MoreShannon Brown 14 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (4/15/2014)
Shannon “Shan-wow” Brown is known as a dunker and nothing else. He got some national spotlight when he was with the Lakers, but has since vanished from the minds of NBA fans. I wasn’t even really aware that he was on the Knicks or that he was even in the league this year. This tells…
Read MoreGreivis Vasquez 25 Points/7 Assists/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/14/2013)
Greivis “Vas Deferens” Vasquez is an enigma. More specifically, his country of origin is an enigma. I have narrowed it down to the following possibilities: -Mexico -Costa Rica -Cuba -Brazil -Ecuador -Spain -Taco Bell Wherever he’s from, it doesn’t change the fact that his faux-fauxhawk makes me want to slap him in the face. I…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 18 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
Now that marijuana is legal in a few US states, everybody should apologize to Michael Beasley for ragging on him after he got caught smokin’ dat green. He just does it to relax, you know? Calm the nerves before the big game. How is it worse than Kirk Hinrich downing two twelve-packs and a fifth…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 20 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
“The natural beauty of Ireland is unparalleled. There is a reason they call this ‘the Emerald Isle’. The verdant greenth of Eire’s hills and valleys is poetic in its majesty.” Kyle O’Quinn panned the camera across the landscape, aiming to give his future viewers a window into his beautiful homeland. He continued speaking in an…
Read MoreMike Miller 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/14/2014)
Adam Silver has said that he’s willing to consider the idea of having just the top 16 teams make the playoffs, instead of the top 8 from each conference. This is a stupid idea, borne from Western Conference fans being upset that there is a team in the East who is making the playoffs with…
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