Tayshaun Prince scrolled through his contact list until he came upon the entry he wanted: “The Unholy One Himself, 666-6666”. Hitting the green “dial” button, he listened to the phone ring, wondering how he would phrase his request. Before he could ponder too long, the call was answered. “Keep this short, Khraakklor,” said Satan, referring…
Read MoreMonth: December 2014
Manu Ginobili 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Alright everybody, it’s time, once and for all, to settle the greatest debate in the modern NBA. Is Manu Ginobili a Euro? This is a multifaceted question, with many angles to consider before we can make a final judgement. Supposedly he was born in Argentina, which is the same as Mexico. This means that he…
Read MoreAmir Johnson 27 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
How is this even allowed? I like Amir Johnson. He’s a good player, plays with good energy, whatever whatever blah blah blah. But there is no reason why he should be allowed to wear #15 with the Raptors. That’s Vince’s number, and it always will be. When I saw Amir in those retro Purple dinosaur…
Read MoreZach LaVine 17 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Don’t even try to tell me that Zach LaVine is not a white person. Do not even try. Look at the thumbnail. That thumbnail does not depict a black person. I know race is an artificial construct designed to divide when we should be concentrating on uniting, but damn. He’s white. The second he lays…
Read MoreTyler Zeller Career High 24 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
As the Piedmont family was being shown into the chamber, the younger boy, Jackson, started to protest, his 7’1″ frame struggling mightily against the policeBots assigned to escort them. “No, no, I’m not going! I have constitutional rights that protect me from cruel and unusual punishment!” He shouted. His mother, Michelle, looked at him resignedly….
Read MoreKevin Seraphin 16 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Kevin Seraphin has continued his career trend of sitting on the bench so far this year, a sad sight for fans of French basketball players. I don’t know if he’s the same player that he has been in the past; He never seems to play when I watch the Wizards. I think we can assume…
Read MoreQuincy Acy Career High 15 Points Full Highlights (12/4/2014)
Add Quincy “Assy” Acy to the list of players who have added a jumper in the offseason. I will never forget how hard he showed out in one of his Summer League games with the Kings, hitting a bunch of jumpers including some threes as the rest of his teammates sucked Acy. You can also…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 20 Points Full Highlights (12/4/2014)
Tim Hardaway Jr. has not taken the step forward in his second year that Knicks fans hoped he would take. In fact, he might have even taken a few steps backwards, which should only happen to players encountering age-related decline, not young pups with a decade and a half of basketball still ahead of them….
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 15 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)
Grasp your head tightly with both hands before reading this next statement, to prevent potential cranial detonations that may result. The Rockets are winning despite giving rotation minutes to Joey Dorsey. I know. Crazy. When D-Mo is arguably your best active big, wins would be considered a nice surprise during a stretch where you are…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick 20 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)
J.J. Redick: the most jock-looking guy in the NBA, yeah or nah? I could see the “nah” side of things since his face also sort of looks like an N*SYNC audition reject. But he’s buff and tall, traits which none of the members of N*SYNC shared. I mean, you could drop this guy in any…
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