If Eric Gordon were a type of ice cream preparation, what kind of ice cream preparation would he be?
Bowl of chocolate ice cream: it’s okay, but you know it’s not the same as real chocolate. Kind of like Eric Gordon now isn’t the “real” Eric Gordon, the pre-injury Eric Gordon. Fair comparison.
Waffle cone of black cherry ice cream: the black cherries add a welcome tartness to the otherwise smooth taste of the icream. Eric Gordon has a smooth game but it’s marred by unwelcome bricks. This isn’t really a good comparison.
Sugar cone of vanilla: the ultimate choice for a kid who’s a picky eater. Vanilla is a very bland flavor and the sugar cone mostly tastes and chews like sweetened cardboard. Eric Gordon is a player who likewise appeals to the preferences of the common man, since the casual NBA fan prefers volume scorers above all else. I’m still trying to draw the connection between cardboard and Eric Gordon though. So I don’t know.
Ice cream sandwich: I’m talking about the kind with the fake-tasting chocolate wafers sandwiching the ice cream. If they’re not properly stored, they melt really quick when you try to eat them and it sucks. Eric Gordon kind of sucks these days also. I hit the nail on the head with this one.
Eating a whole pint of ice cream out of the carton without even realizing what flavor it is: I do this at least every other week and it’s really depressing, much like Eric Gordon’s career.
Frozen yogurt: not even ice cream. I don’t get what frozen yogurt has to do with Eric Gordon at all, to be honest.
In conclusion, I think it’s okay for me to eat ice cream in the morning, right? Right.