April 2015 – Page 4

Clint Capela 8 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (4/18/2015)

Clint Capela’s going to have to start stepping it up if he wants DownToBuck highlights made of him in the future. Eight points and two blocks is on the low end of acceptability, and he’s already had two performances like this previously. Now, something like 16 points, a couple slams, and like 3 blocks, that…

Jason Terry 16 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2015)

The Mavericks-Rockets first round matchup is fraught with storylines. Terry won a ‘chip with the Mavs a while back. So did Corey Brewer. Chandler Parsons, meanwhile, is fighting to show his original team that he was worth all that money. Those storylines all sort of suck, honestly, when you think about the biggest one of…

Quincy Pondexter 20 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2015)

The modern highlight-maker faces a difficult choice over his nature: does he act merely as a conduit for the highlights, presenting the performance with clinical detachment? Or does he curate the highlights, presenting a more entertaining display of the performance, with an artist’s touch? I note this because Quincy Pondexter had 6 assists tonight. That’s…

Dennis Schröder 21 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

Dënniß ßchrööder is like Bojan Bogdanovic in that if he has a good game and you don’t make highlights right away, fans from his home country (in this case, Germany) will post comments on all your videos until you make the video they want. They will also order pizzas for your address and disseminate pictures…

Arinze Onuaku Career High 12 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

My perception of Arinze “The Otaku” Onuaku was permanently and irrevocably screwed up when he opened the 2013-14 season by playing fifteen minutes off the bench for the Pelicans. That was almost as many minutes as Tyreke Evans played that game, and it was more than what Anthony Morrow got. You can see how my…

Nik Stauskas 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

I swing my scepter of disapproval at this new nickname for Nik Stauskas. “Sauce Castillo”. I thought we had already discovered and agreed upon the correct nickname for him. Nik Sucksass. Get it? Because he kind of sucks ass right now? Instead of pantomiming stirring a jar of sauce after hitting that three, he should…

Bojan Bogdanovic Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

Alright, fine, I did Bojan Bogdanovic highlights. Now you crazy Croatians can stop leaving comments on all my videos wondering where your precious Bojangles highlights are. It’s not like I wasn’t aware that Bojan had a career-high. Obviously I was aware. Performances of this magnitude by a role-player do not escape my omnipresent gaze. It’s…

Vander Blue Career High 15 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

I once played some ball with a guy who claimed to have dunked on Vander Blue during a high school game. Like, poster style. He seemed like he was full of crap, and I couldn’t find video evidence of it happening, but maybe it did. He could dunk, anyway, which is more than I could…

Luigi Datome Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

It turns out all you need to do to get Luigi Datome to produce is to give him a starter’s role. Once you’ve done that, he turns into an angry-looking pizza-eating messiah figure, but instead of giving eternal salvation to all of mankind he just kicks all of their asses instead. The Man-Bun cometh! I…

Enes Kanter 25 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

Enes Kanter stood outside the door of apartment 212. He had come here to Salt Lake City all the way from Oklahoma, and now he was too chicken to even knock on the door. The girl he loved was behind that door, he knew it. But what if things had changed? What if things weren’t…