Another day, another random Sixers rookie doing basketball-y things on an NBA basketball court. Continuing in the proud tradition of Philadelphia scrubs like Drew Gordon, Larry Drew II, and Tim Frazier, Christian Wood at one point flashed enough potential that someone in the Sixers’ FO said “Screw it, this guy can jump and stuff!” Jump,…
Read MoreMonth: November 2015
Nicolas Batum 28 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)
The little Nicolas Batum sat restlessly with his parents in the waiting room at the child psychologist’s office. His mom looked over to him. “Stop fidgeting, Nic, you’re making me nervous.” She then glanced at her husband, who looked very much like he’d rather be anywhere else, and was staring at the floor determinedly. “But…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 26 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)
This may come off as heresy, given my nominal status as a Bucks fan, but I would so rather have Andrew Wiggins than Jabari Parker right now. There’s just no comparison. If Jabari scored 26 points tonight in the manner that Wiggins just did, everyone would freak out. Nonstop. But when Wiggins actually does do…
Read MoreZach LaVine 26 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)
Looking through the multitude of Zach LaVine descriptions that I have written in my long and prolific Zach-LaVine-description-writing career, not one of them is a funny or poignant story about the funny or poignant things that happen to him. Mostly I just analyze the state of his team. This is an oversight that I hope…
Read MoreKarl-Anthony Towns 17 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
It’s pretty crazy that Towns can go off for 17 and 11 and still only see a small bump in his season averages. There are plenty of young bigmen out there who, if they put up that statline just one time, people would go nuts. But Towns does it day in and day out. Somebody…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
Since the storyline wherein Michael Jordan resided in Andrew Wiggins’ psyche and tormented his dreams until Wiggins forcibly ejected him, thus killing both dream-MJ and real-life MJ, has ended, DTB needs a new idea. Since it is quite early in the morning, my creative juices are currently stationary and it will be at least a…
Read MoreT.J. Warren 18 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
It’s not like anybody needs another reason to hate Reggie Miller, but here’s another one anyway: he stated that T.J. Warren was a “struggling” young player, when, in fact, the opposite is true. Since when does averaging ten points per game on 50% shooting and playing a valuable role for a 40-win team count as…
Read MoreAlec Burks 24 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
Acceptable occasions for you to say the phrase “Oh baby it hurts”: -When karaokeing to Millie Jackson’s 1973 hit “It Hurts So Good” -When your girl uses a little too much teeth -When your girl uses any teeth at all -When doing the ghost pepper challenge for your fledgling YouTube channel -When the basketball team…
Read MoreTyler Johnson 17 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
Tyler Johnson: the white Derrick Rose? Yes! Their games are eerily similar. Rose is the superior athlete, but not by much, and Tyler can use his athleticism to stunning affect when given the opportunity. They shoot the ball in kind of the same way, using a lot of leg to get a high release. They…
Read MoreDerrick Favors 25 Points/7 Blocks Full Highlights (11/12/2015)
I’m thinking you guys must just take all your meals at fast-food establishments, or maybe your mom still cooks for you, because these frickin’ cookbooks are not frickin’ moving. I should have known better than to market a “Flavors of Favors” cookbook to a bunch of neckbearded NBA fans who have never cooked a meal…
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