“Dear Father,
My need grows more urgent by the day. The hair on my head abandons me like a deserter abandons his post. Meanwhile, you are able to maintain a full head of beautiful thick hair even in your advanced age. Since we know that baldness is a trait that is passed from father to son to grandson, you must not withhold the recipe of the cream you use to keep your hair on your head.
Either that or send me a lot of it. I will need to make up for lost time, as I have spent the past two years doing not one thing to address my worsening hair loss. Now is the time for the accumulated wisdom of the Bosnian people to make itself useful; their folk remedies are my only hope at this point.
Please act quickly. I am afraid to go outside and let the world see my shame.
With love,
Bojan.”