I always say that I’m going to stop getting hyped by sick games in progress, but I can’t help it. When I see a player drop mondo points in the first half my BHL (Blood Hype Level) will invariably go through the roof even if I am purposely trying to de-hype myself by training my eyes exclusively at a no-minutes scrub sitting on the bench (Cliff Alexander in this case). Then, when the player in question fails to replicate his first half scoring output, I am forcibly de-hyped by my own nervous system, which is painful at best and coma-inducing at worst.
If my video descriptions from last night seem a little scatterbrained, it’s because I was struggling to stay conscious. Who could blame me? Allen Crabbe got a new career high IN THE FIRST HALF. He was on pace to score, like, forty. Then the third quarter happened, and then the Blazers were still whupping the Cavs by thirty so they took him out like he’s Steph Curry or something. I had to double fist G-Ades just to keep my eyes open, that’s how bad my BHL was crashing.
I do feel a little better this morning, so I think the immediate danger to my life has passed. Don’t mess with hype, kids.