“Dear Diary,
Wow! I can’t believe it’s been two months since that backstabber Pat Riley betrayed me! I’m having way more fun in Memphis than I ever did in stupid Miami, so I guess I should thank that double-crossing snake for trading me. I looked at Beno’s numbers today and he’s been sucking a fat one, so I guess the trade didn’t work out for the Heat. I bet Pat sits in his office and cries every day about the mistake he made. Why would you be loyal to that old fart Udonis over somebody who can actually play like me? Oh well, it’s water under the bridge now I guess.
It’s so much cooler to play with Marc Gasol than with Chris Bosh. Marc never yells at me or makes fun of me or calls me names. He’s way more better of a friend than Chris. Him and Dwyane would always pick on me even if it was their fault that we turned it over or missed a shot. Now I get to play with Vince Carter. He has all these cool stories. And now that Mike Conley is injured I get all the minutes I want.
Anyway, I gotta get going! My teammates and I are going to go party to celebrate my good game.
-M.”