Success!
As evidenced by the thumbnail image, I have managed to capture the exact moment when Jesus Christ, as he does every game, asks Kristaps Porzingis to join him up in heaven, so that he can have someone to talk to as he sits at God’s right hand. Kristaps, of course, would get to sit at God’s left hand, and they could talk right past God as if he isn’t even there. Because he isn’t, really, paying that close of attention to what Jesus is doing at any one time.
“Join me up here where angels sing and the sun never sets, Kristaps”, Jesus says pleadingly. “My dad never wants to talk with me anymore, not since Golgotha, and you seem like such a chill dude.”
And Kristaps always has to decline. “When the time is right, Jesus, but not now. I’ve got a good game going here, and the Celtics have been pissing me off for a while!”