CHANNING FRYE vs KEVIN LOVE? Who ya got? Let’s take a look at the factual facts:
Injury status:
Kevin Love had a “knee contusion” and missed this game. Channing Frye had no such contusions. Advantage: Frye
Injury history:
Love is missing an arm from when Kelly Olynyk ripped it off. The doctors used twine to sew it back on but it’s never been the same. Frye’s only notable injury is when he missed an entire season with some sort of heart issue. Sources tell me that Frye’s heart is still broken after that frigid bitch Clara in high school didn’t want to go to the Homecoming dance with him. Advantage: Frye
Fit with Kyrie and LeBron:
Love doesn’t fit because he wants the ball too much. Frye slots in perfectly as a stretch four who is an opportunistic shot-taker. The big three lies sundered upon the ground, irreparable. Advantage: Frye
Hazing status:
Frye was hazed upon his arrival in Cleveland by being forced to sit in a bathtub full of french fries and make a gay personals ad while LeBron filmed. Love is kind of a loner who doesn’t hang out with the team so nobody hazed him. Advantage: Frye
Facial similarity to American presidents:
Frye looks like Obama straight up. Love doesn’t really look like any presidents and especially not the current president Barack Obama. Advantage: Frye
Points:
Frye scored 21 points. Love scored zero points. Advantage: Frye
Whiteness:
Love is white. Frye isn’t. Advantage: tentative Frye
After the truthful facts of integrity have been analyzed, it is officially confirmed: Channing Frye is BETTER than Kevin Love.