Having OFFICIALLY left his twenties and entered his thirties on the very day this game was played, Nicolas Batum is now OFFICIALLY an old man. No longer a young man with endless opportunity in front of him, Batum now enters the ranks of the elderly, content to live out their final years of declining health, reduced mobility, and weakened cognitive function.
What’s strange is that, even though Batum is now an old guy who should be washed up and finished, he actually had the best game of his season up to this point. 29-year-old Batum looked way more cooked than 30-year-old Batum looks, at least going off this one game. I mean, he threw down a sick dunk. Old men who are old and worthless don’t throw down dunks like that unless they’re aging in reverse.
Maybe Batum has access to some secret French-Catholic occult ritual that invokes the Holy Virgin to grant him eternal youth. If that is the case, I would appreciate it if he would let me in on the secrets of that ritual, because I too am interested in eternal youth. I don’t know if I ever really had a prime in my life, but I know for a fact that my prime would have already happened if it was going to. It’s not going to happen when I’m forty.