There is a very white, very stretchy power forward battle going on in Phoenix right now. A power forward battle in which Markieff Morris is not included, for he is not white enough. The battle I talk about occurs between Jon Leuer, who is white and from Minnesota, and Mirza Teletovic, who is white and not from Minnesota. Let’s run down the pros and cons of each, and then DTB will give you his FINAL VERDICT OF TRUTH:
Mirza Teletovic:
Pro: is a Euro so other Europeans will watch the Suns just because he’s there
Pro: lungs are free of blood clots
Pro: will pretty much shoot a three any time he can see the rim with at least one eye, or has a pretty good idea of where the rim is even if somebody is in the way
Con: doesn’t really do normal power forward things like “rebound” or “defend”
Con: if I say any more cons, Bosnians will get mad at me in the comments
Jon Leuer:
Pro: is a white American so other white Americans will talk about how he plays the game “the right way”
Pro: has never had blood clots in his lungs
Pro: is very choosy about which threes he shoots, which results in good percentages despite not having a reputation as a sharpshooter
Con: does some normal power forward things like “rebound” and “foul”, which is boring in today’s league
Con: even though he’s white, he doesn’t seem to have any fans
DTB’s FINAL VERDICT OF TRUTH: This is the most hilarious intra-positional battle in at least the last three weeks