You guys are so lucky. Hear that part at around the one minute mark? The part where Austin Carr melodiously moans “Delly, Delly, Delly!”? Yeah, I was seriously considering looping that audio clip throughout the entire duration of the video at a low volume, but still loud enough to be unsettling. Nothing implies “total mental…
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Jared Dudley 19 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
“Dear DTB, I was happy to see a highlight video of my previous 19-point performance. I know that you can be counted on to cast a light on my notable on-court exploits. However, my happiness quickly soured into curdling disappointment when I saw that my personal letter to you, a letter which whose words were…
Read MoreLou Williams 20 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
It’s pretty much the most hilarious thing ever that Lou Williams, Nick Young, and Kobe Bryant are on the same team. I don’t think you could find a player in the league, much less three of them, who chuck as many bad shots as one of those three. It’s like a chuckfecta. Given the way…
Read MoreGarrett Temple Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
I’m pretty sure the Wizards commentators are the least-excited commentators in all of professional sports. I understand that Garrett Temple scoring a career-high largely by undertaking crazy drives to the basket is not that exciting, but you could at least mention the fact that he has never before scored this many points in an NBA-sanctioned…
Read MoreJoakim Noah 21 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
What happened to Joakim Noah’s scoring this year? This game alone accounts for nearly 20 percent of his output! Did he finally inherit his father’s love of tennis, playing basketball only to pay the bills? Is he secretly lusting after some fair maiden, a maiden unattainable, causing his heart to ache and his play to…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 19 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
The best thing about highlights is, by their very definition, they only show the good aspects of players. As had been proven many a time, a well-edited highlight package can make ANYONE look good. Hell, if you recorded me playing pickup ball at the gym for a month, you would probably get enough stuff to…
Read MoreBobby Portis 20 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2015)
It shouldn’t take the entire rest of the Bulls being tired from a quadruple-overtime game for Bobby Portis to receive playing time. I mean, you’d think at some point during four extra periods of basketball that you could find some time for him, especially when Pau Gasol could barely make it down the court without…
Read MoreJabari Parker 14 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2015)
The Milwaukee Bucks’ season is over. Flashes of good play are followed by long stretches of ineptitude on both sides of the ball. Playoffs? Don’t talk to me about playoffs. Which means that there is no reason, NO REASON, that Jabari shouldn’t be getting all the touches he wants on offense. It wouldn’t lead to…
Read MoreMichael Carter-Williams 24 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2015)
Michael Carter-Williams is now shooting a very efficient (for him) 44 percent from the field. Great! So why do I get annoyed every time he tries to score the ball? For one thing, his jumper, despite some promising signs of improvement last year, is the brickiest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s just as likely to…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 20 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2015)
Darn. As you can imagine based on the information you gathered from my account name, I kind of wanted the Bucks to beat the Warriors again. In this season where almost nothing has gone right for Milwaukee, two wins against a team that has defeated every other challenger would have been fun. After the game,…
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