What if I told you that there is a player in the league RIGHT NOW who has a PER of 23.6, shoots 67% from the field, possesses .227 winshares per 48, and scores 18 points per 36, yet only plays eighteen minutes a game? You would almost certainly not believe such an improbable claim. “A…
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Samuel Dalembert 15 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/29/2014)
Wouldn’t it be cool if you got to watch all of Samuel Dalembert’s made baskets from last night? A video containing such a collection of shots would certainly brighten your day by a considerable amount. To watch an elite athlete perform at a high level in his sport of choice, why, it is doubtful that…
Read MoreShawn Marion 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/19/2014)
I never watched The Matrix, because I’m always too busy making highlights, but allegedly, that movie portrays reality as nothing but an illusion that we are all plugged into. Then you can either take the blue pill to remain blissfully ignorant, or the red pill, which will rip away the curtain to reveal the ugly…
Read MoreShane Larkin Career High 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
“Hey, rook, we got a few questions for you.” It was Vince Carter and Sam Dalembert. Shane answered warily, “Yeah, sure. But this isn’t going to end with me dancing the Macarena naked in the shower with everybody filming me, is it? I still remember when you made Gal ask strangers on the street for…
Read MoreSamuel Dalembert 20 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
If you guys want a hint on how to get a start working in the NBA, I’ve got one: apply to be a player’s personal assistant. Nobody wants to take care of these grown-up-yet-still-children players. When my man Fatty D put out an ad for someone to cook and clean for him, I applied immediately….
Read MoreShawn Marion 20 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2014)
Out of all the Mavericks players, Shawn Marion seems to be most excited in those lame parody videos that the Mavs media team is always cooking up. You can tell Dirk’s just annoyed, but Shawn’s always giving it his all. I admire that. It takes a lot of cojones to throw your pride out the…
Read MoreShawn Marion 32 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/30/2013)
Shawn Marion is many things. All-Star. Illinoisan. Olympian. Male. Champion. But is he a Hall-of-Famer? Some would say no. But those people are wrong. So wrong, in fact, that I do not need to go into detail about the ways in which they are wrong because the wrongness is so self evidently wrong. The correct…
Read MoreBrandan Wright 19 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2013)
After this game, Brandan “Wright Hand Path” Wright’s PER is an insane 45.3. I don’t want to boast, but I always knew Brandan was the most elite player in the league. He just needed the right circumstances to break out. Dirk Nowitzki being out for the time being is the best thing to ever happen…
Read MoreSamuel Dalembert 18 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (11/22/2013)
“Sam, that was a good practice. I liked your hustle out there,” Rick Carlisle told his player. “I like seeing you putting in the effort towards improving your help defense.” Samuel Dalembert smiled. “Thanks coach.” “There’s just one thing. The assistants and I agree that you could stand to lose some weight.” Sam sighed. Coach…
Read MoreDeJuan Blair 18 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2013)
So apparently “Hack-a-Blair” is a thing now. The Magic just tried it twice. I don’t know if teams will be doing it on a regular basis, though, since he made 3 out of his 4 well-earned attempts. I’m not really against the whole “hacking” idea. Especially if it’s done against Lou Amundson. Holy crap, does…
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