Joe Johnson got up from his couch to answer the unexpected ringing of his doorbell. He had not been anticipating visitors, so it was probably just a solicitor. When he opened the door, though, he groaned. “Kobe warned me this would happen…” Father Time grinned a toothless grin. “You thought you could evade me forever,…
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Andrea Bargnani 18 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2016)
Andrea Bargnani tried to look inconspicuous as he loitered on the street corner in a bad part of Brooklyn. A hoodie was drawn close to his face, but he couldn’t hide his immense height, and passersby were staring at him. At least, that’s how it felt. A police car rolled by. Andrea fidgeted with his…
Read MoreDTB’s Best NBA Dunks of the Month (January 2016 Dunkilation)
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE DUNK CHAPTER III: A REAL LIFE DUNK Countless ages passed while proto-humans performed their accidental dunks. A modern NBA fan would find most of these dunks to be unsatisfactory, and most dunk scholars would agree with that sentiment. Simply put, none of those prehistoric dunks would ever make it into…
Read MoreJeff Green 29 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2016)
It is a cold Sunday morning, and I enter the cozy coffee shop quickly, grateful for the rush of warmth that greets me as I open the door. Approaching the counter, I order my usual beverage while dutifully ignoring the flirtatious mannerisms of the counter girl. I remind myself, as I always do, that I…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 22 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2016)
“Re: Photoshop Help Hey Enes, Saw your email yesterday so I went right to work putting you in those pictures of the Thunder dancers. Man those girls are hot! LOL I know you only like Jesseca but still. Can you hook me up??? LOL!!! :DDDD Anyway I attached the final copies let me know what…
Read MoreLance Stephenson 16 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2016)
“Well, coach, I think we both know why I asked to meet with you today,” Lance Stephenson said as he sat down across the desk from Doc Rivers. Doc sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, a gesture familiar to Lance. “I think we both do. But go ahead and explain…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 23 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2016)
“Enes? Why are you taking pictures of the dancers during their warmup?” Anthony Morrow expected Enes Kanter to be startled and embarrassed at being caught in a heinous act of perversion, but Enes merely shrugged and continued to snap pictures with his iPhone from his position in the locker room tunnel. “This has something to…
Read MoreGorgui Dieng 21 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2016)
“Dear diary, Today more of the cursed white sand fell upon the land of Minnesota. My teammates know it by the name “snow” and assure me that it is a normal occurrence, but I do not believe them. It is a curse brought down upon them by God. I know this because Africa, the land…
Read MoreAron Baynes 13 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2016)
“Well, Mr. Baynes, after reviewing your files, I’m afraid that our bank won’t be able to loan you any money for your project.” “Aw, come on man!” Aron Baynes groaned. “‘Baynes Bus’ is a good idea! I already proved it could work, I just need a little cash to get it going again.” The banker…
Read MoreAlex Len 16 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2016)
“Hey Alex, I don’t know if it’s a good idea to bring that in here,” said Devin Booker, looking around urgently to see if any team employees had seen the bottle of vodka that Alex Len held in his hand. “Don’t care,” Alex said simply. “We sucking the dicks right now. Need something to lift…
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