“Dear diary,
Today more of the cursed white sand fell upon the land of Minnesota. My teammates know it by the name “snow” and assure me that it is a normal occurrence, but I do not believe them. It is a curse brought down upon them by God. I know this because Africa, the land blessed by God, receives no such sand from the sky.
Ricky told me that Karl-Anthony has a sentimental attachment to the damned precipitation, and that he becomes enraged when weeks go by with no “snowfall” as they call it. This only lends credence to my case that the inhabitants of Minnesota are experiencing some sort of collective delusion. If I see even one particle of white sand outside my window, I will not go outside until every part of my skin is covered with multiple layers. I am loath to find out what would happen were it to touch my exposed flesh. Burns, warts, and boils might result.
I have been doing research on the Internet, trying to figure out what horrible event in Minnesota’s past might have prompted God to befall them with such a despicable curse. So far my search has been fruitless, but I am sure I will find something soon.
Oh yeah, and I scored 21 points today. I thought Ibaka was supposed to be a good defender? LOL
-Gorgui”