Month: November 2013

Xavier Henry 15 Points/1 Sick Facial Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

“We are gathered here today in remembrance of the life of Jeff Withey, a life which was tragically cut short in an act of senseless and random violence on the night of November the 12th…” Suzanne Withey let out a harsh sob. Her husband, Dave, patted her consolingly on the shoulder, but he, too, was…

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Luigi Datome 10 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

The quandary of the highlight-compiler. Which name to use in the video title? Because I’ve never seen Mr. Datome referred to as “Luigi” at any point during my existence as a carbon-based being on this planet. It’s always been “Gigi”. Does that mean that people searching for “Gigi Datome Highlights” won’t find this video? I…

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Andre Drummond 16 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

Remember when Brandon Jennings said it was going to be lob city in Detroit? That was a lie. Well, there are some lobs being thrown, but Jennings is not the one throwing them. He’s too busy jacking up shots like a maniac. It’s a good thing that the remainder of the team outside Jennings are…

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John Henson 18 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

“Long John Henson” is a seriously thin dude. He’s probably leading the league in thinness per 48 right now, as well as body fat percentage and “amount of hook shots taken from too far away because he’s too weak to back people down in the post”. Does he even lift? My NBA All-scrawny team would…

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Trevor Ariza 27 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2013)

“Hey, Trevor, excited for the new XBox that’s coming out? I already got my preorder in.” “Naw man, I’m holding out for the PS4. I hear it’s gonna be tight. Graphics so good they’ll make your mind explode. While you’re playing with your little kiddy console in 720p I’m gonna be quickscoping noobs in glorious…

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Cartier Martin 16 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

The first thing that Cartier Martin noticed when he awoke is that he no longer was able to move his limbs. Looking down, he could see that he was strapped to some kind of table, a far cry from his comfy bed at home. “Looks like our visitor has awakened, fellas,” said a voice from…

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Robin Lopez 17 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

Robin Lopez is one of the more underrated players in the league. He started all 82 for the Hornets last year and was consistent. He may be half-retarded, but he know what he can do on the court. Rarely does he shoot a jumper. Sometimes he tries sky-hook-like things, which is awesome and should be…

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Nikola Pekovic 25 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

Is Nikola Pekovic black? Is he scrawny? Does he have a horrible scraggly beard? No? So why did the scorekeepers confuse him for Corey Brewer? That dunk with about 2 minutes left was misattributed, and I’m angry. ANGRY! Corey Brewer needs those points, because he sucks. Nikola Pekovic has no need for inflated point totals….

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Derrick Favors 21 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/11/2013)

OFFICIAL PLAYERS NAMED DERRICK CURRENTLY IN THE NBA POWER RANKINGS: (Brought to you by Taco Bell’s new Cheetos Explosion Grande: a burrito filled to the breaking point with Cheeto bits, fiery habanero Velveeta sauce, and a brown lumpy substance that might be animal in origin! Try one today!) 1. Derrick Favors This guy is just…

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