Jabari Parker shivered, his stomach turning knots as he looked at the six remaining uncooked brats before him. He turned to see how the other insufficiently-clothed competitors were doing. Damien Inglis, just having upchucked his portion of the “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity”, lay in the snow, curled up in a little ball and moaning. Giannis,…
Read MoreMonth: November 2014
Ray McCallum 12 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)
Since I’ve got a bunch of family members ’round my place for Thanksgiving (it’s an American holiday for all you heathens out there), I decided to utilize the poetic talents of my seven-year-old nephew Dylan in this description. He was tasked with writing a poem about Ray McCallum, and here it is, with spelling mistakes…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 20 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)
Ryan Anderson stared, dumbfounded, at the words stamped on the device attached to his arm. He checked, squinted, and checked again, but the letters did not change. “Smoothie King” He knew what he had to do. The all-consuming anger that he had felt while incinerating his teammates with his arm-wielded flamethrower had given way to…
Read MoreOmri Casspi 22 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (11/25/2014)
Omri Casspi was a pretty good role-player as a rookie for the Kings, back in 2009. Then, betraying the usual development cycle for young players, he got worse almost every year afterwards, especially after leaving Sacramento for Cleveland. He was bad enough in Houston that he earned the nickname “Asspi” from disappointed fans. Now he’s…
Read MoreNik Stauskas 9 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)
I’ve been waiting patiently (ever so patiently) for Nik Stauskas to have a good game so I could make highlights. I’m done waiting. I’m not sure he’s ever going to score in double figures so this performance will have to do. Nine points and a pair of blocks is plenty, and now I get to…
Read MoreMike Scott 17 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)
I get the feeling that most NBA fans aren’t truly aware of Mike Scott’s existence. He has a very commonplace name and is a bench player for a team that no one really likes in the Atlanta Hawks. There is nothing notable about his game other than that he added a three point shot, but…
Read MoreDerrick Favors 21 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2014)
Every time I do Derrick Favors highlights, the Jazz commentators go on about “He’s getting so much more confident” and “He wasn’t doing that a year ago” and “He’s improving before our eyes”. That’s all well and good, but if D-Faves was really improving at that rate, wouldn’t we have an All-Star by now? One…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 22 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2014)
The Orlando Magic have tanked so well that they have reached an unenviable position of having too many young players to properly develop them all. Andrew Nicholson and Devyn Marble might as well just stay in their beds all day for the amount of minutes Jacque-Off Vaughn will give them. But the guard situation is…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas Career High 27 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2014)
I’m trying to figure out if the Raptors are REALLY good, or just, you know, really good. Because they’ve looked like contenders so far this season, kind of. I say kind of because their roster doesn’t scream “These guys are going to win a chip and fill a hot tub full of champagne!” to me….
Read MoreDamjan Rudez 11 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2014)
Damjan Rudez: next Dirk? Let’s look at the checklist for next Dirk status. Above average height? Check. Lack of skin pigmentation? Check. From a European Union Member State? Check. Name starts with D? Check. No one really knows how to pronounce said name? Check. Shoots threes? Check. There you have it. If you need more…
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