Does Leandro Barbosa not totally look like Charles Barkley? He totally does. Just look at the thumbnail: it’s like I’m watching Inside the NBA and he and Kenny are sniping at each other and Shaq is just sitting there being awkward. Anyway, yeah, Leandro Barbosa. He can still score the rock a bit, and he…
Read MoreDay: December 30, 2014
Kyle Korver 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
The moniker “Spurs of the East” is tired and lame. Nobody wants to hear that lame stuff anymore. I have devised a new, bold moniker for the Hawks that perfectly encompasses the teamwork and ball movement that make up their system: “Hawksketball”. Stop laughing. You’re stupid. This is a good idea, and when I start…
Read MoreJrue Holiday 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
The Pelicans are making me look stupid. I keep saying that they’re a dark horse for the WCF, but they’re always hovering around .500 and they’re going to be lucky to sneak into the playoffs. What needs to happen is for Anthony Davis to break out even further than he has already broken. It would…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 23 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
“This is a good idea. It’s economically viable and it’s fully in tune with the demands of the market,” Marreese Speights said in his best “fancy” voice, sitting in a suit across from a banker who was also wearing a suit. He slid a folder of papers across the desk. “My business plan is flawless,…
Read MoreHenry Sims 19 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
How horrible does your team have to be for your commentators not to say anything after one of your players gets an and-one dunk? Sure, the Sixers were down by thirty-something, but Sims just came rumbling down the lane and packed it on Kuzmic. That’s awesome no matter how many points you’re losing by. The…
Read MoreTrey Burke 26 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
“Congratulations, it’s a healthy baby boy!” exclaimed the nurse, holding a wet, shriveled, and screaming Trey Burke in her arms. “Have you come up with a name for him?” she asked, handing the baby back to his exhausted, sweaty mother. Trey’s mom exchanged a look with her husband, who was standing beside the bed. “Well…”…
Read MoreJoe Harris 13 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
It is official: the Hawks have the worst camera angles in all of sports. What the heck is going on during Joe Harris’ first shot? It’s like some art-school dropout got a hold of the clips of the game and just mashed them together in an arty way. It’s going to seriously hamper your enjoyment…
Read MoreBrook Lopez 29 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
Brook “Set-Shot Willie” Lopez has been nearly forgotten by Brooklyn fans (except for his contract). They have been enjoying Mason Plumlee, thank you very much. Brook’s been injured for so long that it feels unnatural for him to play. But the fact of the matter is that Mason is nowhere near the talent offensively that…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad Career High 30 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
From the dumpster fire that is the Timberwolves’ season, a dumpster phoenix rises majestically from the ashes. You can guess who that phoenix represents. No, it’s not a real phoenix, those don’t exist. Come on. You know this one. Sh… Sha… No. Not Shavlik Randolph. He plays for the Phoenix Suns, true, but he is…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 21 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
This will be the year that indicates if the NBA awards voters care about advanced stats at all. I view the Rookie of the Year race as being down to two players: Andrew Wiggins and Nikola Mirotic. Wiggins has the edge in raw stats per game. As he should; he plays on a horrible team…
Read More