This is a first, since I started having custom thumbnails. No closeup of the player in question! Sometimes I forgo the closeup, but this time I didn’t even have the option. Come on Grizzlies camera people! At least show one while JJ is busy taking a dump on your pathetic team during the fourth quarter….
Read MoreMonth: December 2014
Amar’e Stoudemire 26 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (12/9/2014)
Amar’e Stoudemire leaned back and relaxed. There was nothing better than a warm, soothing soak in the comfort of his home, away from prying eyes and hangers-on. To an outsider, the appearance of the bathwater would be extremely alarming; it looked as if Stoudemire was cleansing himself in a tub of blood. But this was…
Read MoreMarcus Morris 25 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/9/2014)
There is a stat floating around (that’s what stats do, don’t you know, they just zip around peoples heads like mosquitos) that shows how poor Markieff and Marcus Morris when their other half isn’t on the court. This effect is more pronounced on Marcus, because he’s just not as good as his brother; I blame…
Read MoreRonnie Price 14 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/19/2014)
Nothing in my life has prepared me for this moment. Now the moment is upon us, and I am, for the first time, at a loss for words. What do you even say about Ronnie Price? This guy has been the embodiment of scrubbitude since he’s been in the league. Ten years of NBA basketball…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad 26 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2014)
Shabazz Muhammad heard his phone ring. He knew who it probably was, but, looking out his window at the interminable snow falling from the sky, he decided that he could use a little bit of companionship, no matter how annoying. “Hey, this is Bazz.” “Hello friend Shabazz. This Alexey calling.” Shabazz remembered how he had…
Read MoreChase Budinger 19 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2014)
Usually my made-up nicknames for players are stated in jest. However, Chase Budinger’s nickname “Chasetity Belt” is proclaimed straight-faced and without humorous intent. This is because Chase Budinger’s play with the Timberwolves is much like wearing a chastity belt against one’s will. Chase is not aggressive at all, in much the same way that a…
Read MoreOmer Asik 16 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2014)
I have a question for all you Pelicans fans out there: Do you happen to know which esteemed brand is the official water of the Pelicans? What do you mean you don’t know? This is an important thing to be aware of. How are you supposed to make informed decisions about water consumption if you…
Read MoreEvan Turner 18 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/8/2014)
Evan Turner walked out to his mailbox to get his mail. It was another cold, yet beautiful, Massachusetts afternoon. Pausing to admire the crystalline blue sky and to breath the bracing air, his eye happened to catch his neighbor’s tree, naked of its leaves but still standing majestically out of the ground. Was it just…
Read MoreJames Jones 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2014)
James Jones has seen his averages drop precipitously after signing a new deal in a new city. There were always questions about whether his teammates made him better than he really was; now those fears are becoming reality. He may be receiving more touches in the offense, as his team is thin at his position,…
Read MorePatrick Patterson 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2014)
Patrick “Double Patty Melt” Patterson is an underrated part of the Raptors current successes? Maybe. I don’t know. The Raptors are really good this year, I would even call them “legit”, and Patrick Patterson is always around to hit a three and then go back to the bench. If I were a contending team I’d…
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