Luc Richard Mbah a Moute was just getting ready to head home when he was approached by a nervous-looking Jerami Grant. “What’s up, rookie?” asked Luc.
“Well,” Jerami started, scratching his scalp nervously. “Some of the guys were saying that, you being a veteran and all, that you knew a lot. That you could give advice.”
“Of course. Ask away.”
Jerami still looked uncomfortable. “This might be a dumb question, but…”
Luc tried to put on his best “sympathetic” face. “I’m not going to laugh, Jerami. You can ask me anything. We were all rookies at some point.”
With these reassurances, Jerami appeared to relax a small amount. “Luc, how do babies get made?”
Luc tried his best not to look shocked. He also had to work hard to restrain his laughter. “Nobody ever told you?”
“Nope.”
This didn’t add up. Jerami was constantly bragging about how many girls were in line to get in the sack with him. “You bang chicks all the time, man. That’s how babies happen.”
Jerami didn’t appear convinced. “JaKarr told me that babies come out the belly button. So when I’m screwing a chick, that’s just screwing, that’s not baby-making, right? You have to do something else to get the baby juice to the right places, don’t you?”
Luc wondered where JaKarr had gotten his woefully mistaken impression, but he decided to roll with it. “Right. If you decide that you want a baby, you gotta stick it in her belly button instead of wherever else you were sticking it.”
“Ohhhhh,” Jerami responded. “That makes sense. I never thought about sticking it in her belly button, but if that’s where the baby comes out, that’s where the baby batter should go in.”
“Absolutely,” Luc confirmed. “Now, I gotta get going. Remember what I told you.” As he walked out of the locker room, he could hear Jerami take out his phone and call one of his numerous girlfriends.
“Hey bae. You wanna meet up tonight? I got something sexy I wanna try with you. I swear, my man Luc is a straight-up sex god, he gave me some tips.”