Think about how many more blocks Rudy Gobert would have if scorekeepers around the league didn’t inexplicably hate his guts. I watched this game and I swear the Gobert Report had at least three or four blocks, in addition to single-handedly making everybody on the Bucks afraid to shoot in the paint. In the end, though, he was only credited with one block, part of a league-wide conspiracy to deflate his block totals in order to make Anthony Davis more marketable.
“Gobert Report” will also be the name of his YouTube channel where he gives makeup tips to young women. Because have you seen his eyebrows lately? They’re perfect: thin, well-defined, not too bushy, and dark. Give me tips, master.