Joe Ingles 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/24/2015)

One of the Jazz commentators mentioned a nickname for Joe Ingles that I had not yet heard: Slow Joe. Talk about lame. I can definitely improve upon that sad excuse for a moniker. Brace yourselves.

“Slowppy Joe”

Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Let me walk you through the layers of this cunning creation. It’s like a bunch of Matryoshka dolls up in here.

Layer 1: The allusion to the classic “Sloppy Joe” sandwich, which is delicious and serves as a good starting point for the rest of the nickname to unfold.

Layer 2: The “Slowppy” part refers to how Joe Ingles perpetually looks like he just got out of bed after a night of insane Australian partying, his hair ruffled and eyes bagged.

Layer 3: “Joe” is Ingles’ first name. Some part of his name has to be included, otherwise how will we know who the nickname is referencing?

Layer 4: The “Slow” in “Slowppy” makes light of the ponderous form on his jumper, which needs to be wound up in the manner of a trebuchet before launch.

So there you have it. As always, if you want to use this nickname in your blog posts, YouTube comments, or just in general conversation, you have to pay the 50 cent royalty fee. Genius like this doesn’t come cheap.

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