November 2015 – Page 6

Danny Green 18 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

Danny “Danny Greenger” Green has sort of been sucking to start the season, coincidentally the first season of his big-money contract that sees him collect a cool 10 mil per until he turns 31. I don’t want to be the guy who starts bringing up “contract years”, but…actually, I love being that guy. Let’s not…

Markieff Morris 28 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

Devin Booker trudged aimlessly through a vast expanse of featureless Arizona desert. There was little to distract his troubled mind; the looming mountains on the horizon, the intermittent squawks of vultures, occasional human-shaped cacti. He had not seen a real human for days, maybe weeks. He could feel his sanity slipping away, like sand through…

Kristaps Porzingis 20 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

When was the last time this many lottery-picked bigmen looked so legit during their rookie seasons? The 2012 draft was okay, since it had both AD’s, but it also had Thomas Robison, which cancels that out. After doing a bit of research, I suddenly don’t feel like going back very far in these drafts, seeing…

Jahlil Okafor 25 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

Jahlil Okafor just kind of turned Karl-Anthony Towns into his own personal bitch tonight, didn’t he? Do I sense a sweet description incoming? Yeah, nah. Don’t really feel like writing any vaguely homoerotic domination stuff right now. These highlights speak for themselves, anyway. I don’t want to overreact, but this right here is the reason…

Andrew Nicholson 18 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

I’ve been hyped for Andrew Nicholson for a long time. Pretty much since he’s been in the league. He has the most underrated post moves in the league, for sure. So smooth. Buttery would be an appropriate adjective for both them and my famous mac and cheese. He’s a major reason why I think the…

Andrew Wiggins 32 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

“But mommmmm, I don’t want to go to this stupid basketball camp. It sounds super gay,” said thirteen-year-old Andrew Wiggins, who sat, arms crossed and scowling, in the back of his mom’s minivan. “We can turn back right now and I’ll forgive you.” “But Andy honey, it will be fun!” his mother responded cheerily, not…

J.R. Smith 26 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2015)

I don’t get to make Cavaliers highlights as much as I used to, ever since they got a big three and said big three started doing all the scoring. I have to be content with the occasional Delly or J.R. Spliff highlights, maybe some James Jones thrown in on the side. Never Tristan Thompson, though….

C.J. McCollum 19 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2015)

C.J. McCollum was interrupted from his Game of Thrones marathon by his phone ringing. He took a quick glance at the screen, planning to ignore the call, but when he saw that it was Blazers GM Neil Olshey, he reluctantly paused the show and answered the phone. “Hi Neil, what’s up?” Neil’s voice sounded breathless….

Mason Plumlee 17 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2015)

Is it too late to fix Mason Plumlee’s free throws? I’m getting Shaq flashbacks (Flashshaqs?) here. Plumlee acts like he’s going to shoot it normally with two hands, but at the last second, his guide hand goes away and he just one-hands it. His borked form worked for him this game, but I’m doubtful that…