It’s time to come clean. I didn’t even watch the entire Bucks game last night. I watched the first half and then decided that I had better things to do than watch the Bulls blow us out. Especially because there were a bunch of Bulls fans in the Bradley Center and I didn’t want to…
Read MoreDay: January 12, 2016
Chandler Parsons 25 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Chandler Parsons had just finished pouring himself an afternoon bowl of Cap’n Crunch when he heard his phone ring from its place charging in his bedroom. Setting the bowl on the counter, he jogged over to the source of the ringing. When he picked up the phone and saw the name of the caller, his…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 29 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Take a good look at these highlights. Watch them with care and precision. Notice anything? That’s right: Giannis Antetokounmpo didn’t hit a single shot that wasn’t a layup or a dunk. There’s something to be said for playing to your strengths, obviously. Giannis absolutely abused the Bulls in transition tonight, in the same way that…
Read MoreDevin Booker 19 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Devin Booker is legit. That’s all there is to it. If I’m a Suns fan, I’ve already forgotten about Archie Goodwin. If I’m a fan of any other team, I never knew about Archie Goodwin in the first place. Eric Bledsoe? Brandon Knight? Their contracts are tradeable, or you can wait a few years until…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 25 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
One of the many perils of highlight-compiling is that I only see the good of every player. From my point of view, the NBA, on average, is filled with dudes who never miss shots except when they get fouled and score 20 or more point per game. KCP is one of those dudes. I think…
Read MoreZach LaVine 21 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Here I am, just sitting around, thinking Zach LaVine has turned the corner on his career, and he turns right back around and starts sucking huge man dick. Burdened by the amount of wiener crammed into every crevice of his mouth, he has been averaging THREE points per game over the last 7. THREE. I…
Read MoreJerian Grant 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Things that New Yorkers are deluded about: -How good their pizza is (floppy triangles are unacceptable) -That anyone wants to visit their overcrowded hellhole (they most certainly do not) -That their cost of living is reasonable (I can buy a house in Boise for the amount they pay monthly for 200 square feet) -How good…
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 26 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Success! As evidenced by the thumbnail image, I have managed to capture the exact moment when Jesus Christ, as he does every game, asks Kristaps Porzingis to join him up in heaven, so that he can have someone to talk to as he sits at God’s right hand. Kristaps, of course, would get to sit…
Read More