I’m not the first person to compare to C.J. McCollum to Stephen Curry. People have been doing that ever since McCollum came into the league. But, if everything goes as planned, I will be the last.
I have assembled a staff of dozens of volunteers who will scour the Internet for comparisons between McCollum and Curry, and when they find one, they will issue a DMCA takedown request on it, effectively removing it from the webs forever. YouTube, Facebook, MySpace, Friendster, your grandma’s cooking blog, no medium of internet-based communication will be safe from their watchful eyes. The volunteers themselves will be phased out within the year, as I am nearing completion of a new routing station which will intercept all worldwide HTTP traffic and analyze its contents on the fly, stripping away any comparisons between these two players before sending the packets on their merry way.
This is all so I can be the last person to ever say “C.J. McCollum and Stephen Curry are kind of similar players, you know?”. Do not bother commenting to echo my sentiments.