I’ve got two comparisons for Justise Winslow here, and I need you to let me know which one you like better. If you have a third comparison, don’t even bother telling it to me, because it will be wrong and stupid, reflecting the wrong and stupid nature of your brain. So, is Winslow more like…
Read MoreDay: March 5, 2019
Dwight Powell 20 Points/6 Assists/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
This is a career high for Dwight Powell in the “assists” category. I put that in quotes because the first five of these assists range between “barely passable” (get it, passable????? hahahahah) and “Jokic-esque BS handoff that should never be an assist”. Luckily the final one is a nice spinning drop off to a Dorian…
Read MoreJae Crowder 20 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
Everyone knows that the Celtics are kinda messed up right now. On the court, off the court, in the front office, there’s not much harmony in Boston right now. My solution: have the Celtics trade for Crowder, giving up one of their malcontents in the process. That can be the first step in rebuilding the…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 28 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
A few days ago, I put Buddy (my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple plastic statue of Buddy Hield) to work making me a whole bunch of extremely high-end graphics cards for me to mine Bitcoin with, as well as a server-class motherboard to house all the cards. Well, that part of my plot to become a…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 22 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
I understand that the trade deadline has passed, but Adam Silver has personally given me his personal assurance that trades can still happen if both teams demonstrate a genuine need for the trade to happen. That’s why I think the Brooklyn Nets should trade DeMarre Carroll to the Toronto Raptors for Norman Powell and a…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 27 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
The Suns are now the first team to beat the Bucks twice this season, and also the team to give them their first losing streak of the season. There are a lot of factors at play here, but one of the main ones is that Kelly Oubre just played with more energy than then entire…
Read MoreHarry Giles 17 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
The following DTB QUICK QUIZ will have four multiple-choice questions. Post your answers to the questions in the comments below. If you get even one of them wrong, I will notify YouTube administrators (who I am good friends with) to delete your YouTube account forever and also ban you from Instagram too. So make sure…
Read MoreAllonzo Trier 29 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
“29 points for Allonzo Trier!” you mutter to yourself excitedly as you open the latest DTB video in your web browser and push ‘play’. “This will doubtlessly be an entertaining highlight video worthy of my precious time, a resource that I have a limited amount of!” Wrong. You’re wrong. And dumb. This video is not…
Read MoreRodions Kurucs 19 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
Rodions Kurucs hasn’t been doing a whole lot on the court for the last month or so. I don’t know if it’s because players returned from injury or what, but I do know that I don’t like it one bit. I need Kurucs to play well for two reasons: one, there’s a surprising amount of…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2019)
The making of this video brings with it some interesting philosophical quandaries. Among those quandaries is the following question: how sick do a player’s statistical averages have to be where a “below-average” game for them still qualifies for a highlight video? I ask this because, by at least some measures, this game from Jokic was…
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