downtobuck – Page 1250

Shawn Marion 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/19/2014)

I never watched The Matrix, because I’m always too busy making highlights, but allegedly, that movie portrays reality as nothing but an illusion that we are all plugged into. Then you can either take the blue pill to remain blissfully ignorant, or the red pill, which will rip away the curtain to reveal the ugly…

Al-Farouq Aminu 19 Points/10 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/19/2014)

Al-Farouq Aminu was on his way to the locker room when a voice issued forth from a dumpster. “Psst, Al-Farouq! Get in here!” Startled, Al-Farouq looked into the bin to find Anthony Davis huddled in the bottom. “Man, I don’t know if we’re both going to fit in there. You look kinda cramped already,” Al-Farouq…

Tobias Harris 23 Points Full Highlights (3/19/2014)

I’m excited. Not because Tobias Harris just scored 23 points, though that is reasonably exciting occurrence. But because I have now received actual visual evidence of Dewayne Dedmon’s existence in the NBA. And man, let me tell you, he looks damn good. Dunks it every time he touches the ball. I can tell you guys…

Avery Bradley 23 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/19/2014)

Rajon Rondo has returned, and his pure point guard play has almost erased the pain of the “Avery Bradley at point” era of the Celtics. Was it the worst era in the history of this storied franchise? Probs. Avery Bradley can now return to what he does best: playing defense and shooting tons of bad…

Isaiah Thomas Triple Double 24 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (3/18/2014)

Isaiah Thomas is short. Of course to you or me he would look like a normal sized person in real life. But on an NBA court he looks like a midget. Plays like one too. Faster than everyone else and surprisingly adept at finishing because he disappears among people’s legs. And now he gives hope…

Drew Gooden 18 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2014)

This is getting pretty ridiculous. Drew Gooden has exceeded all my expectations. And everybody else’s, too, I’m sure. There’s no way his jumpshot will be this pure for the rest of the season, right? Anyway, along with his newfound playing time comes a sweet new celebration after a made basket. If he feels he wasn’t…

Jarrett Jack 22 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2014)

The Cavs wanted to make the playoffs this year. They figured, not necessarily wrongly, that Irving + other recent draftees + a savvy vet + 1st overall pick was going to be enough to do it. So they signed Jarrett Jack to bring scoring punch and playmaking to the bench and to be a savvy…

Lance Stephenson 25 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2014)

I’m imagining that Pacers fans are experiencing a lot of cognitive dissonance right now. They love the Pacers, and they love basketball, but they have to reconcile that with Lance Stephenson being an iso-loving tough guy maniac who makes a mockery of the game with his swag. But despite Stephenson’s not-as-desirable qualities, he has turned…

Hollis Thompson Career High 17 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (3/17/2014)

Philadelphia’s “Armored Combat Vehicle” is unstoppable at this point. Hollis Thompson getting 40 minutes in a single game is probably beyond even Hollis’ own wildest fantasies. Other things that are in Hollis’ fantasies: -Playing for a good team -Scoring with that cheerleader Alexandria, she is so cute -Finally beating Super Mario Bros. on N64 -Taking…

Kelly Olynyk 16 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2014)

New nominee for worst beard in the NBA: Kelly Olynyk Holy crap. That’s some high-school level stuff right there. This thing is a patch of translucent pubes jutting from the end of his chin. In general a fair-haired dude like Kelly shouldn’t be attempting facial hair until it grows thick. That goes for everybody, actually….