November 2014 – Page 26

Spencer Hawes 17 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2014)

Was it horrible-facial-hair day for the Clippers today? Farmar and Griffin were rocking pedo-staches and Hawes and Jordan had the same nightmarish goatee-trimmed-so-the-stache-looks-like-it-goes-all-the-way-down thing going on. Basketball is serious business, guys. If you’re not going to take your facial hair seriously, what does that say about your other endeavors? You might think that I’m just…

Garrett Temple Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

If you’re only going to watch one DTB video this season, make sure that it’s this one. I don’t want to toot my own horn too much (I hire other people to do the tooting), but it’s pretty much a perfect video. Nothing wrong with it at all. An incredible showcase of superior craftsmanship. The…

Nene 22 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

Hello friends! I don’t have anything insightful to say about Nene, but you guys should do yourselves a favor and type “nene chicks” into google image search. No, you’re not going to get pictures of Nene doing indecent things with women. I would never lead you astray. What you will get is your daily dose…

Chris Copeland 21 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

Maybe it’s just me, but does Chris Copeland not totally look like an Egyptian pharaoh? That hair is like some kind of elaborate headpiece, and he’s always dressed In Pacers’ gold, which sort of resembles one of those gold coffin thingies that the Egyptians put their mummies in. I actually traveled to Egypt to find…

Nikola Mirotic 12 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

Allow me to register my dissatisfaction with the Chicago “Splash Brothers” equivalent, the “Drain Duo”. Who are the two players that are contained under the umbrella of this nickname? Surely they must be established and high-performing shooters to have the gumption to craft themselves this moniker. Nope. Just Nikola Mirotic and Doug McDermott. And this…

Otto Porter Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

“Why do scrubs always go off on us?” comes the frantic yell of the collective fanbase any time a role-player scores more than twenty points. Their angst is understandable, but ultimately misguided; lots of role-players have good games every night, and they have to come against some other team. Teams that get burned repeatedly by…

JaVale McGee 8 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

JaVale McGee, clad scantily in a leopard-print speedo, relaxed in his outdoor hot tub. The contrast between the cool mountain air on his chest and the warm bubble-jets on his legs was sublime, much like the pairing of a medium-bodied Tuscan Chianti and rich dark chocolates from Paris which floated on a tray in front…

Terrence Jones 25 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

Terrence Jones PER of 25.9 is pretty damn good. Yes, I understand it’s only been three games, but he has looked like a legit beast out there. If Houston does in fact possess a “big three” (every team does, you just have to adjust your definition of “big”), that three would be Harden, Howard, and…

Gordon Hayward 24 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2014)

Gordon Hayward sauntered up to his new teammates, Dante Exum and Joe Ingles. “I couldn’t help but overhear your guys’ conversation.” Both of the Australians perked up. “So you got the new Assassins Creed too, mate?” Dante asked. “The gameplay is just on another level.” Gordon laughed. “Well, actually, no. Those action-adventure games are for…