December 2015 – Page 19

Boban Marjanovic 18 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)

OFFICIAL 2015 NBA BIGGEST EARS POWER RANKINGS 1. Boban Marjanovic 2-423. ???????? How am I supposed to know do I look like a guy who pays attention to ear sizes to you?

Shane Larkin 13 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

Thanks to the National Security Administration’s probably-illegal nationwide internet traffic dragnet, all you need to do to get somebody’s Google search history is tell the NSA that you’re a police officer who needs the information to catch a child predator or a terrorist or something. Really I don’t think the NSA even reads the letter….

Courtney Lee 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

During last year’s playoffs I invented and debuted the #payAttentionToCourtneyLee hashtag to recognize him for his exceptional ability to accumulate win shares. Unfortunately, the Twitter campaign was mostly a failure, with only a few people using my expertly crafted phrase on their Twitter posts. DTB is not a quitter though. He has a will of…

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope 22 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

If Kentavious Caldwell-Pope doesn’t call his own personal vehicle “The Popemobile”, then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with our country. Like, really seriously. It’s the perfect name, like if he’s going to go to the store, he could text all his friends “abt 2 go 2 the store in The Popemobile”. It would be perfect….

Thaddeus Young 25 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

No one really likes the Brooklyn Nets. No one really likes Thaddeus Young. Those two things combined mean one thing: this video isn’t going to get any views. Normally, a player who has no fans plays on a team which DOES have fans, which means that some of those fans will watch any video where…

Marcelo Huertas 8 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

Man, did you realize that those Lord of the Rings movies are already like over a decade old? How time flies. It’s time for a reboot of the series, but this time, with NBA players instead of professional actors! I’ve already thought about who would portray the so-called “Fellowship of the Ring”: Frodo- Marcelo Huertas…

Wesley Matthews Career High 36 Points/10 Threes Full Highlights (12/6/2015)

Lost in an anesthetic haze, Wes Matthews wandered the deserted corridors of his mind. In the waking world, doctors were working tirelessly to repair his torn Achilles tendon, but in the inner world of Wes’ psyche, all was quiet, a side effect of the anesthesia that had ostensibly halted the workings of his brain. In…

Cody Zeller 17 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

Maybe I’m displaying my ignorance here, but wasn’t Cody Zeller supposed to be more of a scorer than he is right now? It’s his third year in the league and he’s only scored in the twenties two times. I get that he’s been competing with Al Jefferson for those three years, thus robbing him of…

Jabari Parker 17 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

When will the Bucks make Jabari Parker (more like Chubari Porker LOL!) the centerpiece of the offense and force-feed him the ball? That’s what the Wolves did with Wiggins and the marketing slogan “we are all witnesses” seems to fit pretty well there. Why shouldn’t we also be able say that about Jabari and the…

Giannis Antetokounmpo 17 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

Giannis was not usually fond of road trips. He preferred the comfort and familiarity of his own bed to the hotel room beds he slept in while on the road. However, this road trip was especially unpleasant, he thought as he looked out the window of the team plane to observe the starry night sky….