Here I am, just sitting around, thinking Zach LaVine has turned the corner on his career, and he turns right back around and starts sucking huge man dick. Burdened by the amount of wiener crammed into every crevice of his mouth, he has been averaging THREE points per game over the last 7. THREE. I…
Read MoreMonth: January 2016
Jerian Grant 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Things that New Yorkers are deluded about: -How good their pizza is (floppy triangles are unacceptable) -That anyone wants to visit their overcrowded hellhole (they most certainly do not) -That their cost of living is reasonable (I can buy a house in Boise for the amount they pay monthly for 200 square feet) -How good…
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 26 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Success! As evidenced by the thumbnail image, I have managed to capture the exact moment when Jesus Christ, as he does every game, asks Kristaps Porzingis to join him up in heaven, so that he can have someone to talk to as he sits at God’s right hand. Kristaps, of course, would get to sit…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 13 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/11/2016)
Does this Spurs commentator have to chuckle to himself every time Boban Marjanovic does something positive on the court? Is something about Boban’s existence inherently funny? At the risk of sounding sensitive, I think he needs to tone it down and just treat Boban like any other end-of-bench player. He’s a professional, right? I don’t…
Read MoreTyreke Evans 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
It’s blowing my mind that the Pelicans are as bad as they are. I feel really dumb right now for pegging them as a dark horse candidate for the WCF or maybe even the Finals themselves. Since somebody must apportion the blame for their suckitude, I have appointed myself official blame apportioner. I unsheathe my…
Read MorePatrick Beverley 16 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
There’s an awesome point guard battle going on down in Houston right now. In one corner, we have Ty Lawson, who is a chronic drunkard, a lush, an alkie, and just not a very good basketball player right now. He’s also a manlet. In the other corner, we have Patrick Beverley, who is a hard-nosed…
Read MoreSteven Adams 17 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
Steven Adams’ hair situation is getting out of control. The mustache combined with the man-bun just make him look like even more of a maniac than he does normally. It sure looks good when he’s skying for oops, though. It’s like a bunch of short brown streamers attached to the back of his head. Adams…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 21 Points Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
Just as Andrew Wiggins had drifted off into an uneasy sleep, Brad, the basketball camp counsellor, barged into the room and flipped the lightswitch. “Were you guys smoking weed in here? You were, weren’t you? Don’t lie to me! I can smell the marijuana, I can smell it very clearly! Answer me!” Andrew’s brain, still…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 24 Points Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
I haven’t made Trevor Ariza highlights up until this point. You may think that this a failure on DownToBuck’s end; that DownToBuck is purposely withholding highlights for some nonsensical reason. However, let it be known that any fault here lies squarely upon Trevor Ariza, and Trevor Ariza alone. Here’s a little tidbit that will illuminate…
Read MoreRashad Vaughn 10 Points Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
I’ve waited long enough. I’m done waiting. Rashad Vaughn highlights have finally arrived! I was going to do some for the first game of his career, when he “scored” 10, until I found out that one of his triples was actually made by Assquez. A shame, but it was such a decent start (coupled with…
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