Alex “Olexiy” Len can now officially be called a “Stretch Five”. This is in addition to other adjectives which accurately describe him, a list which includes but is not limited to “Ukrainian”, “Young Talent”, “Starter Quality”, and “Better than Tyson Chandler”. It remains to be seen whether Len will make another three-pointer this year (seeing…
Read MoreTag: Phoenix Suns
Mirza Teletovic 24 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2015)
There is a very white, very stretchy power forward battle going on in Phoenix right now. A power forward battle in which Markieff Morris is not included, for he is not white enough. The battle I talk about occurs between Jon Leuer, who is white and from Minnesota, and Mirza Teletovic, who is white and…
Read MoreAlex Len Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2015)
With Tyson Chandler silently being really disappointing this season for the Suns and now getting injured because he skipped leg day, someone needed to step up and fill the gaping defensive hole left in his wake. We all know which guy it was who stepped up: Jon Leuer! Jon Leuer has been excellent, thrust into…
Read MoreDevin Booker 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
This Eddie Johnson jack-off sesh with Devin Booker is getting a little weird now. Eddie Johnson being the Suns’ color (add -ed to the previous word for some racism!) guy, of course. He just won’t ever shut up about Devin Booker and how good he is going to be/is right now. I’m surprised he can…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 20 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Suns fans were, justifiably, not very pleased with Mirza Teletovic’s play to start the season. Even after considering that, just a few months previous, his lungs were filled to the brim with little clotty things, he wasn’t performing at a level that earned him any minutes at all. Lucky for him, then, that Markieff Morris…
Read MoreEric Bledsoe 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/4/2015)
At what point did Eric Bledsoe become a top ten scorer in the league? Was I in a coma or something? Or have I just been zoned out this whole time? Because I definitely don’t remember this happening and I don’t remember seeing any warning signs that it might be happening. He’s actually eleventh right…
Read MoreJon Leuer 20 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2015)
Take a look at the videos I have done so far tonight: Kristaps Porzingis – White Devin Booker – White? Frank Kaminsky – White/Pink Mirza Teletovic – White Jon Leuer – White Notice a trend? I think I’m noticing a trend. In this age of rampant racism, where a man cannot just be a man,…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 18 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2015)
I’m not a lipreader. Not a professional one, anyway. I do my best, but I’m having a hard time figuring out what Mirza Teletovic is saying around 0:30 of this video. I’ve narrowed it down to a few options: “Plucking Chick” – I don’t know what chickens have to do with basketball. “Sucking Clit” –…
Read MoreDevin Booker 18 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2015)
When I saw Devin Booker take that hard fall during tonight’s game against the Pistons, one thought immediately popped into my head: “He dead” Like, I was freaking out because I just saw a dude DIE during an NBA game, not just a fan either, but a player, a player in the god-damn PRIME of…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 20 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2015)
Which version of Mirza Teletovic did the Suns think they were getting when they plucked him from Brooklyn? A. The one who is a multidimensional space mercenary, fighting under the banner of King Hyperiarch. B. The one who shoots lots of threes while blood clots inhabit every nook and cranny of his lungs. C. The…
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