The Golden State Warriors are a good team this year. But are they contenders? No. Not until they replace Mark Jackson with someone who can, you know, coach. Instead of just being a motivator. Think how good they could be with an offensive system that is more than “have Curry run around like a maniac”….
Read MoreMonth: January 2014
Kyle Lowry 24 Points/6 Assists/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
Raymond Felton @RFeltonGBMS 12h Yo @Klow7 nice game 2nite, 2 bad u looked rly fat out there tho #lardass #realtalk Kyle Lowry @Klow7 Nov 2 12h @RFeltonGBMS u shudent be talkin ur face look like 2 salisbury steaks stapled to ur moms fat ass #burned Raymond Felton @RFeltonGBMS 12h @Klow7 dont talk bout my mom…
Read MoreShane Larkin Career High 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
“Hey, rook, we got a few questions for you.” It was Vince Carter and Sam Dalembert. Shane answered warily, “Yeah, sure. But this isn’t going to end with me dancing the Macarena naked in the shower with everybody filming me, is it? I still remember when you made Gal ask strangers on the street for…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk Career High 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
“Olynyk looks like he’s playing in the Summer League” Oh yes, the NBA Summer League. Where NBA-starved fans gaze hungrily upon the new crop of rookies for the first time. Where one slick move turns into a multitude of hype-filled social media posts. Where the hopes of the faithful are raised to new heights, and…
Read MoreRyan Kelly Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2014)
Let’s play a game: name a player, and then take that player’s last name and use it as the first name of another player, and continue in perpetuity. Let’s see how far we get! Ryan Kelly Kelly Olynyk … Screw this game. This game sucks. What doesn’t suck is Ryan Kelly’s performance against the Celtics…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 21 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (1/16/2014)
No, Serge Ibaka, you do NOT get to do Mutombo’s finger wag after you reject a shot. No one but Dikembe himself has that privilege. Not even Michael Jordan. Come up with your own thing. Or, better yet, just run back up the court like nothing happened. No one likes a showboat. I hate to…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 15 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (1/16/2014)
Donatas “Donuts” Motiejunas is looking a little tubby lately. I know that the lack of playing time can be depressing, but he needs to lay off the snacks and get his heinie into the weight room for some conditioning. There’s only room for one fat seven-footer in the league, and that’s Miroslav Raduljica. Also, I…
Read MoreJames Johnson 15 Points/6 Blocks/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
You know that your NBA career hasn’t gone as planned when the opposing commentary crew screws up your identity not once, but twice (not counting all the uncomfortable pauses while they try to figure out who you are and then say the correct name). First he’s Ed Davis, then he’s James Jones. Seriously? Your average…
Read MoreSamuel Dalembert 20 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
If you guys want a hint on how to get a start working in the NBA, I’ve got one: apply to be a player’s personal assistant. Nobody wants to take care of these grown-up-yet-still-children players. When my man Fatty D put out an ad for someone to cook and clean for him, I applied immediately….
Read MoreMatt Barnes 25 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)
Matt Barnes is a paradox. His existence makes crumble the confining walls of reality to release the whirling vortex of the omni-vacuum. Such a being should not be allowed to exist, for it looks upon the orderly rules of nature and scoffs at them, demeans them in the most obscene way possible. A man cursed…
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