Kelly Olynyk 20 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

Walking up to the dreary rows of storage cells that made up Kamloops Mega Storage, Kelly hesitated. Starcubism was supposed to be dead. By going here, he was just giving the guys false hope. He thought back to Ferguson’s words back at the pizza parlor: “Moonbeam said you’d be back eventually.” Moonbeam had always been…

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Tyson Chandler 18 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

Everything about this Mavs team seems destined for success. It’s exactly the narrative that the NBA would have written if they were given free reign to do so. Tyson Chandler reunites with the player formerly known as Dirk Nowinski to again attain the magic that allowed them to win it all in 2011. They’ve even…

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Khris Middleton 21 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

Khris Middleton’s numbers have regressed from last season. Bucks fans attempt to attribute it to him trying to do too much on the court, but I know the real reason. I know it because I have inside sources in the Bucks front office, namely me disguised as a vending machine in the GM’s office. Let’s…

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Robert Covington 17 Points/1 Win Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

It’s really good that the 76ers finally got a win. Not just for the fans and the players, put for the commentators as well. Something was off about them this game. A little loopy. The pressure of knowing that they had to win this game or risk losing 30 in a row was maybe a…

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Bojan Bogdanovic 14 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

It’s been an up and down rookie campaign Bojan “Booyah” Bogdanovic. On the plus side, he’s been getting a bunch of minutes, earning valuable game-time experience in the NBA. On the minus side, he’s not scoring many points at all, or really doing much of anything while on the court. Brooklyn fans may disagree, citing…

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Jarnell Stokes 12 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

I have no idea what to say about Jarnell Stokes. I don’t know a thing about him. Luckily for me, I made, before the season, notecards for every player in the league that contain description-worthy nuggets of info and trivia. It’s great! Really takes the legwork out of writing these suckers, especially when inspiration runs…

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Andre Drummond 27 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

Andre Drummond has received a lot of flak this year for being really crappy. He’s picked it up in the last few games, but 44% shooting isn’t good at all for a guy who doesn’t leave the paint. There are a lot of reasons for his slump. The main one is that SVG is trying…

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Dennis Schröder 16 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)

If you were paying close attention, you would have noticed that the last time I made Dënniß ßchrööder highlights, just last night, that I didn’t put “Career High” in the title even though he did, in fact, score a career high. Why wouldn’t I? People in the future, when wondering about how HOFer Dënniß played…

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Brandon Knight 27 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2014)

The Cavaliers’ scorekeepers must have realized that Brandon Knight hasn’t been getting a whole ton of assists this year, because they were giving him some ridiculous ones. Passing it around the perimeter to OJ Mayo, watching him take two stationary dribbles, then driving to the basket using two more bounces should never count as an…

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Ryan Anderson 23 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)

He jumped. Twelve floors was a long way to fall. Ryan Anderson cursed is hastiness. He was, after all, the one with the arm-mounted flamethrower. Incinerating a few cops in his condo would have fewer consequences than if this went wrong. He hoped his intuitions were right. He pointed the flamethrower at the ground, hoping…

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