Down under, mate. Matthew Dellavedova is didgeridoo abo Sydney Opera House. When he kangaroo internet-censorship, the Cavaliers are Foster’s gasoline-sniffing noice. Boomerang. No one expected that he would NBL prison-colony vegemite sandwich. If Matthews, instead, Burke and Wills shrimp on the barbie mate, there would be a backlash in the form of high-cost-of-living small-tits-are-illegal Cyclone…
Read MoreMonth: December 2015
Marcus Thornton 32 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2015)
Marcus Thornton is always good for one of these random super-hot games per season, it seems. Usually bookended by lots of single-digit scoring nights and straight up DNP-CDs. This is that game for Marcus. He will now, regretfully, be not that good for the rest of the year, just as he was not that good…
Read MoreGary Neal 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Since I usually only say negative things about Gary Neal because I grew to hate him during his time with the Bucks (on a deeply personal level, not on just a player-fan relationship level), in this description I will only say good things about Gary Neal. I have even compiled a list of his positive…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
At the end of this video, the Pelicans commentator who isn’t Joel Meyers is in total disbelief that Kelly Olynyk could drop 21 on his team. After making subtle jabs the whole game, he is probably frustrated that the dude who is supposed to suck just scored a bunch of points. So he casts a…
Read MoreZach LaVine 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
I love it when a really bad rookie, instead of continuing to be really bad and falling out of the league, makes improvements to his game and becomes a contributor in their second year. In this case, our success story is Zach Lavine. What are the improvements that Zach made, you ask? It’s actually just…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 22 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Friendly reminder for all my Toronto viewers out there: you could have had Andre Drummond instead of Terrence Ross. I could gloat some more, but, actually, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for on my part. The reality of the situation is that Andre had huge questions marks heading into the draft and there is something…
Read MoreDevin Booker 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
This Eddie Johnson jack-off sesh with Devin Booker is getting a little weird now. Eddie Johnson being the Suns’ color (add -ed to the previous word for some racism!) guy, of course. He just won’t ever shut up about Devin Booker and how good he is going to be/is right now. I’m surprised he can…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 20 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Suns fans were, justifiably, not very pleased with Mirza Teletovic’s play to start the season. Even after considering that, just a few months previous, his lungs were filled to the brim with little clotty things, he wasn’t performing at a level that earned him any minutes at all. Lucky for him, then, that Markieff Morris…
Read MoreKarl-Anthony Towns 18 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Karl-Anthony Towns looked sadly out of a window in his apartment. The sky, frustratingly, was a bright, wintery blue. “Where’s the snow, Ricky? You said there would be snow.” he whined, pressing his nose against the cold glass. Ricky Rubio’s annoyed voice came from the kitchenette. “I never promised anything, Karl, and you know that….
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 28 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
A lot has been made of Kristaps Porzingis’ first matchup with Dirk Nowitzki. It’s understandable; after Rik Smits, the most common pre-draft comparison for Kristaps was, in fact, Dirk. Well, maybe he was the third most common comparison after Rik and Chuck Nevitt. Hard to keep track of that sort of stuff. Anyway, yeah, they’re…
Read More