Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The good news, of course! Despair is so much easier to handle when it is preceded by joy. Gerald Green scored 26 points! That’s the good news. I’ll save the bad for until you’ve watched the video. Go on. Watch it. I’ll still be…
Read MoreTag: Phoenix Suns
Gerald Green 28 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2014)
The Phoenix Suns are going to have hard time living up to the funness they displayed last year. In part because people are expecting them to be good instead of being awful, and also due to a perfect storm of contract years and Gerald Green going nutso. The West got stronger (except for OKC, RIP…
Read MoreGerald Green 19 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2014)
Let’s all take a moment to contemplate just how much of a maniac Gerald Green is when it comes to shooting. … Moment over! Hope you didn’t consider it too hard or you’re gonna find yourself with a bad headache pretty soon. Gerald Green has the utmost confidence in his jumper, somewhat justified but not…
Read MoreMiles Plumlee 15 Points/16 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/7/2014)
[PSA: There are no dunks in this video] That hurts just to type. I keep unconsciously reaching for the ‘delete’ key so I can get rid of those blasphemous words. But there it is: Miles Plumlee makes seven field goals, but not one of them is a dunk. I went into the project with high…
Read MoreGerald Green 26 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/4/2014)
Gerald Green, dressed as a banana, walked into the costume party with dread. It was well-known that Miles Plumlee threw the best holiday-themed bashes, but the prospect of scores of hot girls walking around in “naughty nurse” costumes didn’t do much to brighten his mood. He hated Halloween. Why should the concept of hiding your…
Read MoreIsaiah Thomas 23 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2014)
Isaiah Thomas browsed Kickstarter without much direction. He liked the concept of the site; but why did there have to be so much infeasible crap on it? It seemed every project he backed went up in flames within a month. He scrolled quickly through the “fashion” section, as usual. Nothing but ugly clothes for uglier…
Read MoreAlex Len 10 Points/11 Rebounds Full Highlights (10/31/2014)
Doing highlights of a player I’ve never done before is a rush. It’s like the feeling you got when you were a kid when you opened up the Pokemon booster pack and got a holographic Zapdos (never a Charizard, god damn it). And I’ve been waiting a long time to “collect” Alex Len, so to…
Read MoreMarcus Morris 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (10/29/2014)
Marcus saw his brother, Markieff, grab a heavily-contested rebound. Rather than dump it off to Dragic or Bledsoe, Markieff took the ball himself, and Marcus began to sprint alongside him. Not making eye contact, Marcus instead began to think the phrase “throw me the lob” over and over. He was sure it would work this…
Read MoreIsaiah Thomas 23 Points/5 Threes Suns Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)
At one point, though it has mostly died down, there was a lot of hype for the “Giannis Antetokounmpo as a point guard” concept. He represents a departure from the NBA of old, a utopist future of “positionless basketball”. I don’t see why Isaiah Thomas can’t be part of that future too. The Suns have…
Read MoreMiles Plumlee All 103 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)
If you asked me before the season how many dunks Miles Plumlee would successfully execute I would have said maybe 20. He didn’t show anything with the Pacers last year, and didn’t really show anything at Duke either. No reason he should suddenly become good. I forgot that the Suns didn’t really have a center…
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