I’m of the opinion that Enes Kanter could have a Greg Monroe-esque impact on offense if he was given an equivalent amount of touches. He also has a Greg Monroe-esque impact on defense by being slow-footed and not very good at team defense. So, however much Greg Monroe is going to get paid, that’s how…
Read MoreTag: Utah Jazz
Dante Exum 13 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (1/24/2015)
All these highlights of Dante Exum are the same: him making a few threes with a couple meager assists sprinkled in. Does this guy ever shoot free throws? Does he ever drive to the basket? I see some flashes of good court vision, but does he ever get more than 4 or 5 assists? Trey…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 16 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/24/2015)
One of the Jazz commentators mentioned a nickname for Joe Ingles that I had not yet heard: Slow Joe. Talk about lame. I can definitely improve upon that sad excuse for a moniker. Brace yourselves. “Slowppy Joe” Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Let me walk you through the layers of this cunning creation….
Read MoreRudy Gobert 14 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2015)
Think about how many more blocks Rudy Gobert would have if scorekeepers around the league didn’t inexplicably hate his guts. I watched this game and I swear the Gobert Report had at least three or four blocks, in addition to single-handedly making everybody on the Bucks afraid to shoot in the paint. In the end,…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 24 Points/17 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/21/2015)
Lost in the ecstatic falderal around Rudy Gobert’s emergence is the vague disappointment of Enes Kanter. The 3rd overall pick from four years ago, still only 22 year old, written off already. His refined offensive game is no match for the raw potential of the 2 months younger Gobert. The Jazz must have seen enough…
Read MoreElijah Millsap 12 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2015)
The Jazz announcers were going on about how hard Elijah Millsap plays, and how impressive that was. That’s cool. I always like to see players with heart and determination, attempting to dispel the notion of NBA players as lazy bum divas. But isn’t energetic play what you would expect out of a D-League callup? They…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 13 Points/18 Rebounds/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/18/2015)
I’ve absolutely run out of things to say about Rudy Gobert. Does anything really need to be said at all? Watching his highlights is enough. Alright, I’ll say one thing. That block on the Baynger was NASTY.
Read MoreGordon Hayward 31 Points/7 Assists/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
With Gordon Hayward sporting a slick new haircut, is he officially the most handsome dude in the NBA? Before you call into doubt my sexual preferences, handsomeness is an attribute that can be evaluated objectively. It is based entirely on cheekbone structure, hairstyle, skin clearness, and several other factors. My physical attraction to him would…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 16 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/13/2015)
Rudy Gobert was still fairly unknown in his rookie year, a vague tale emanating from the mountains of a giant who did not yet possess many basketball skills. His appearance with the French national team must have helped him loads, because he’s come back this year as a far better player. He can sometimes catch…
Read MoreDerrick Favors 22 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2015)
Sometimes things don’t work out like you want them to. A few months ago I self-published the first run of my trademarked “Flavors of Favors” cookbooks. Now, let the record show that these are some good-ass cookbooks. But you can’t do anything without marketing, and DTB didn’t have much of it. I mean, yeah, I…
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