Using my powers of clairvoyance, I tapped into Metta World Peace’s mind after his good performance against the Timberwolves to see if I could gain some insight into the inner machinations of this enigmatic man. This is what I heard: “Teeth. Teethy teeth. One teeth two teeth three teeth. Teeth in my mouth. Mouthy mouth….
Read MoreMonth: November 2013
Andre Drummond 15 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
One of the biggest news items of the summer for vapid celebrity worshipers was that Andre Drummond was courting some Nickelodeon teen star. Someone named “Jeanette McCurdy”. First question is, how can she be a celebrity if I’ve never heard of her? Second question is, does she even realize how much of a beast her…
Read MoreKyle Korver 22 Points/6 Threes/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Six of six from three. Must be some kind of record, right? Wrong. I invoked the unholy power of basketball-reference to determine that there are were three separate performances of somebody going an insane nine of nine from the long line. One was Latrell Sprewell. The other was Ben Gordon – twice. Kyle, YGSIU. You…
Read MoreGerald Green 21 Points/0 Dunks Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Nihil. Zilch. Zero. A seemingly simple concept with limitless depth, containing interesting philosophical quandaries. What is the nature of nothingness? Is nothing something? If there are zero of something, how can we say that those things exist at all? Are there different flavors of zero? Why was its status as a number developed so late…
Read MoreKevin Martin 30 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Lost amidst the excitement of another thrilling NFL Sunday, an equally thrilling battle was being fought in the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. K-Mart vs. K-Mart. Well, it wasn’t that thrilling. I don’t think they were ever matched up against each other. And Kenyon Martin is pretty old and worthless compared to Kevin Martin,…
Read MoreBradley Beal 19 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
What’s up with the NBA this year? I know it’s early, but teams that seemed to be blatantly tanking (Phoenix, Philadelphia) are doing good while teams who went all in for the playoffs (Wizards) are not. Probably just an anomaly that will correct itself in a few weeks, but it’s still cool to see crappy…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 15 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Kelly Olynyk is the coolest-looking dude in the NBA. He looks the part of a rock musician, and I can’t remember the last time that role was effectively filled in the NBA. It shouldn’t surprise you, then, that Kelly was actually a vital part of the Kamloops art rock scene in the late 00’s. His…
Read MoreO.J. Mayo 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/2/2013)
Out of all players in the league named after condiments, O.J. Mayo is certainly the best. Let’s go back into the archives to look at other notable players who share that characteristic: Walter Worcestershire: Known by the affectionate knicknames “British Bandit”, “Sure as Shire”, and simply “Walt”, this 70’s-era forward was known for his bruising…
Read MoreKlay Thompson 27 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2013)
Some people complain the Klay Thompson doesn’t get to the charity stripe enough. Those people are stupid. You know what it would take for him to shoot more free throws? More layups. More drives. And those aren’t things that Thompson is good at. He’s good at one thing only: shooting J’s. Telling him to do…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 19 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/2/2013)
♫ “I love-a making my-a pasta and my pizza,” ♪ sang Marco as he chopped scallions in his kitchen. ♫ “Scallions and garlic, so delicious-a!” ♪ Now he walked over to his stove, where a small pot of tortellini was boiling. ♫ “Tortellini! Spaghetti! Fettuccine! Hey! Marco’s-a cooking some-a fantastico food-a!” ♪ Marco did a…
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