The Boston Celtics did a great disservice to OCD people everywhere when they traded Jeff Green to the Grizzlies. Now, Jeff’s last name no longer matches the color of his jersey; there is no green anywhere on the Memphis uniforms, not even their alternates. Is Vander Blue still in the D-League? That would have been…
Read MoreMonth: January 2015
Goran Dragic 21 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
I feel bad for whatever team decides to snap up Goran Dragic when he inevitably opts out of his player option this summer. Not that he’s a bad player; he’s actually a really good player, and it’s a crime that he’ll never make an all-star game. No, I feel bad for that team because Dragic…
Read MoreHarrison Barnes 18 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
Harrison “Born in a” Barnes has responded well to being a starter this year. Last year, starting only a third of the games, he shot below 40%. This year, starting every game? 50% from the field. That’s a huge leap. In what other areas has Harrison improved this season? -No longer yells “oh snap” any…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 27 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
When I heard tell of Serge Ibaka emulating Michael Jordan on a certain play in the matchup against the Warriors, you know what I was thinking: free throw line dunk. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting pretty stoked. A free throw line dunk in game? Samuel Dalembert did one of those once (look it…
Read MoreMo Williams 26 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
Literally why would you watch this video when Mo Williams scored 52 points last game? That’s like twice as many points. It’s twice as much fun to watch. Only the most ardent Mo Williams fan should even consider watching this video. Everybody else should just leave. Okay, you can stay, but I’m going. I need…
Read MorePatty Mills 18 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
“Thanks for having me over, Tim. You’re the best,” Patty said, walking into Tim Duncan’s home. “Maybe you’ll help clear my mind a bit.” Tim closed the door behind his teammate. “That’s the plan, Patty. Let’s sit in the den and talk this through.” The two Spurs sat across from each other, Patty in a…
Read MoreGordon Hayward 31 Points/7 Assists/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
With Gordon Hayward sporting a slick new haircut, is he officially the most handsome dude in the NBA? Before you call into doubt my sexual preferences, handsomeness is an attribute that can be evaluated objectively. It is based entirely on cheekbone structure, hairstyle, skin clearness, and several other factors. My physical attraction to him would…
Read MoreJarrett Jack 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
I didn’t even realize it, but Jarrett Jack is shooting 18% on threes this year. That’s roughly the percentage I would shoot if you put me in the NBA right now, provided that I got only open looks. This is a guy who shot 40% two years ago with the Warriors, so we know that…
Read MoreTristan Thompson 24 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
Tristan lay half-awake in his bed, thinking about what he would like to eat for breakfast. There were at least six different kinds of cereal in his cupboards; some Golden Grahams or Cookie Crisp would be pretty tasty. He also had ingredients for omelettes or pancakes, options that would be even tastier but also require…
Read MoreJimmer Fredette 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/16/2015)
By luck or by skill, I have created, with this video thumbnail, a perfect new logo for the NBA! Note to the NBA: take out the Ilyasova head before using. The blue and the red represent the current logo colors of the NBA, and also the glorious colors of the USA’s proud flag which flies…
Read More